These are a few of my faaavorite things...

....when my Dom bites....when the whip stings.....when I'm feeling bad (in a good way of course)....

Oh ok fine. I'll stop. *grin*

Favorite nightie I bought this year:

Favorite vibe:


Favorite tshirt, especially when wet:



(A few of) my favorite toys:


Favorite costume:


Favorite boy toy:

Merry Christmas, my pretty pretty flowers.

xoxoxoxoxo

A woodsy encounter...

I whimper as he slips a ballgag in to my mouth.

"You will not make a sound, or your ass will feel it for a month,", he whispers in my ear.

I nod.

He attaches a leash to the collar around my neck and leads me towards the forest.

I trip periodically as my shoes sink in to the mud.

Fuck-me-heels are definitely not meant for hiking.

We reach a clearing.

I see a small structure.

"Climb.", he whispers.

I grasp a metal ladder and carefully begin to make my way up. I feel his eyes on my ass from below, and begin to wiggle it, teasing him as I climb. I reach the top and swing my legs over the side and into the structure. He quickly climbs up the ladder and in behind me.

He spreads a blanket out on the floor.

"Kneel.", he whispers.

I kneel at his feet.

He removes the ballgag from my mouth, unzips his fly and sits down on the lone chair.

I grasp his cock in my gloved hands.

I lean forward and begin to lick from the balls all the way up to the head and back again.

I take the head of his cock inside my mouth and begin to quietly suck.

I hear his breathing begin to change, quicken.

"Wow. Is he already about to cum?", I think to myself.

I feel his hands on my face, stilling me.

"Get down.", he whispers.

I hit the deck.

BOOM!

The gun cracks.

I lift my head and peek over the edge of the deer stand.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeew!", I exclaim.

.....reposted for Sweetpea..... ;)

I think I might....

...get my belly button pierced.

Sure, I have to get over my maniacal fear of needles first.

'Tis but a tiny hiccup.

'twas...

....nuckin futs.

I am off to drink heavily and sleep for a while.

Thanks for all the great comments, emails and texts from the last week.

You guys kept me (somewhat, heh) sane.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

I've been to hell....

...and it is full of boats, guns and dead things mounted on the walls.

Today I spent three hours in a gigantic hunting/fishing store with the in-laws.

I swear, it was like herding cats.

I did lots of cursing in my mind. LOTS of it. I am crawling off to polish my damn halo.

I miss you, my pretty pretty flowers.....

Oh, and did I mention my in-laws don't like for me to drink around them? *whimper* Many, many stories soon. Three more days....

Fun and games with the In laws....

Whilst hub and I worked yesterday, the in laws were alone in the house.

They did my laundry.

The in laws have fondled my lingerie.

*cringe*

Father-in-law mentioned at dinner last night that he spent a lot of time on the computer yesterday.

Mother-in-law blushed and shot him a "look".

I interpreted that to mean they found our naughty picture folder.......so now, they have not only fondled my lingerie, but have probably seen me naked with Hub's cock in my mouth.

Neat.

Not quite as horrifying as my Mother stumbling across my audio orgasm post when my blog was at the old address.....but still.....quite the cringefest.

D-Day.

8 hours until the In-laws storm the beach.

I need a drink already. Not a good sign.

Parden me whilst I whine....

The In-Law Invasion is but two days away, and things have already gone to hell in a hand basket around here.

1. We're both really sick with the flu.

2. We haven't had sex in a WEEK.

3. Hub is working from 5:30am until 9 or 10pm every night, and has not been able to pitch in much with cleaning, painting, organizing, etc.

4. Hub has informed me that he will most likely have to work instead of taking his vacay time...which means I will have to entertain the In-laws primarily BY MYSELF. God help me.

5. I was rinsing dishes today and felt water on my foot. I opened the cabinet and WHOOSH! Water came pouring out. After I pulled everything out from that cabinet, I found a giant crack is the garbage disposal. FUN!

There's more, I just don't have the oomph to type it.

Shoot me please.

No, wait.....fuck me first, THEN shoot me.

Well Spank my ass and call me a bad bad girl....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

I snuck off at work and took these.....

*evil giggle*

I HATE this bra, but it's perfect for wearing under white shirts.

Frankly, I'd rather just go bra-less.

;)

Cool Slideshows

Now go give Osbasso lots of kisses!!!!

This is soooooooooo me......

The In-laws invade in a week and a day.



waaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I'm in a glass case of emotion!!!!!!

Ooopsie

I was so busy cooking last night (until 1am! ugh!) that I totally spaced on HNT pics.

DOH!

I'll try to do some this weekend.

I hope you all have a wonderful Spanksgiving!

xoxoxoxo

My mattresse was not made for a lazy Nympho

I had a loooooooong work day yesterday.....got off around 11PM....had drinks with my boss, our President, our CFO and my assistant until 1am....staggered home, and crawled in to bed around 2am.

I settled in, kind of cold, but comfortable.

Hub woke up and "made a move".

I was really tired, and just didn't have the oomph to move around as much as usual (I tend to be a thrasher).

So you know what happened?

I sank.

We have a fancy Tempur-Pedic mattresse. I lurrrrrve sleeping on it. It is like sleeping on a cloud.

However.

Having lazy sex on it just SUCKS.

I sank so far in while we were in missionary that it affected hub's aim. Ouch.

So, I flipped over for doggie style....

....and proceeded to sink again.....and the aim was off AGAIN......and OUCH!

I love sleeping on that bed, but damn I miss having some resistance and some frikkin SPRING!

*growl*

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

More pics from last week's sticky adventure.

Do some clicking around to see larger versions of pics and to open the boxes. There's nine pics loaded in to this nifty thingy. :)

Cool Slideshows

Now go give Osbasso a smooch!!!!

I didn't know Saturday Night Live was still funny....

Click Here!

This Nancy Pelosi skit had me howling....

Laughing. My. Posterior. Off.

My oldest friend, my best friend going all the way back to junior high, M., just called.

She has seen my pervy little blog before, but it has been a while.

She and the hub are sans kids this evening, and she wanted the addy to my site.

(I've had four glasses of wine and you expect me to type http colon front-slash front-slash ????)

Apparently, they are seeking out some naughty entertainment. Wooo hoo!!!!!!

Soooo.....now she and her husband have both seen my nipples.

hehehehehee

A very sticky Half Nekkid Thursday

Mmmmmmm...the tongue bath afterwards courtesy of my Other Half was simply divine...

Now go give Osbasso some licks!!!!

Sex dream.

....mmmmm.......

I was between a pair of very maculine, muscular legs.....licking, sucking and teasing the most enormous cock I have ever seen.....even bigger than my 7 foot Spaniard, and that, my Flowers, is saying something....

My alarm clock goes off. I hit snooze, and drift back in to the dream...

I'm listening to him moan....my mouth feels so good, so filled......I am so excited I feel as if I am going to explode....

My alarm clock goes off. I hit the snooze again.

I can't stand it anymore. I have to have this cock inside me. I slowwwwly kiss my way up his body. I stradle him. I reach for his cock, beginning to guide him inside me, when my dream self looks in to the eyes of the man, and....

It's Dustin Hoffman? DUSTIN HOFFMAN?!!? WTF!!!!!!!!!! I don't even LIKE him!!!!!!!!!

I startle myself awake, cursing, wishing I had dreamed myself a blindfold....

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

I'm going to be....uhm....."occupied" this evening....

*wicked grin*

Soooo....here's some pics I took the last couple weeks that I haven't used yet.

Have a wonderful evening all! I'll pop around and comment tomorrow. xoxoxoxo

Now go give Osbasso some love!!!!

*sheepish grin*

Hello, my pretty pretty Flowers.

I apologize for neglecting you as of late.

Though my absence is primarily due to work, I can blame the last four days on my husband.

He finally talked me in to reading his Terry Goodkind books. OMG. Have you guys read them? I have plowed through the first two books in four days. Those books are enormous. The second one alone was 979 pages.

I have a migraine. My vision is blurry. But I am starting that third one tonight damnit!

I promise to resurface for HNT. LOL!

I hope you all had a nice weekend. :)

TGIF Gratuitous Boobage...

Another shot in the naughty cop costume.

*grin*

Happy Friday everyone!

Happy Halloween Half Nekkid Thursday!

What you see can and will be held against you....if you ask in a way that pleases me...

I heart my Naughty Cop costume. *evil grin*

Now go sneak up on Osbasso and say BOO!!!!

I'm not "Dorkalicious"....

I swear, this is EXACTLY what happens to me when I try to talk to "Muscles":

I was explaining my Friday night Dorkalicious disaster with "Muscles" (which involved me literally falling out of my office chair) to my friend Karl.

After he quoted one of my favorite Cure songs to me...

And she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

...he declared that I am NOT Dorkalicious.

I am "Dork Sexy".

LOL!

And just when I think I can be cool.....

...I morph back in to "Dorkalicious Blonde".

I really should not be allowed to talk to handsome men.

Seriously.

Not ever.

Shit.

Oh my

Muscles sent me this link today that you guys have to check out.

Click here for "Wondercum".

It's a product that promises "sweeter tasting sperm".

Uhmmmm.......

*sheepish smile*

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday....

Well my goodness. I seem to have wandered in to the shower with a tshirt on. However did that happen? *innocent smile*

Now go give Osbasso a nice little pinch on the ass hello!

...Daydreaming...

I circle the head of your cock with my tongue and began to lick your shaft, in long, slow strokes. I circle the sensitive head with the tip of my tongue, planting hot, wet kisses all over your cock.

You're panting. How that makes me smile....

I take the entire length of you into my mouth, being careful not to make contact until I reach the bottom of your shaft. Then, in a sudden movement, I close my lips, draw in my cheeks, press my tongue against you, and completely surround you in the wet, velvety warmth of my mouth.

A soft "oh" escapes your lips. Mmmmmmmm....

I hear your deep, sexy voice urging me to continue. I began moving up and down your cock, exploring you with my tongue.

I'm becoming more aggressive now.

I straddle your leg and begin to grind against you. I move my hand up your body until I find your hand. I want you to run your fingers through my hair, guiding me, controlling my pace.

You pull from my mouth and began rubbing just the head of your cock on my lips and tongue. I purr as I taste the precum pouring out from your cock. I flick the tip of my tongue back and forth along the tip, begging for more.

Fuck my mouth baby. Please.

Mmmmm......you're close. You're bucking your hips, moaning my name. I'm holding on for dear life, enjoying the ride.

You drive into me one final time. Your body releases into mine. As I feel your hot wet cum fill my mouth, I reach between my legs and explode. My orgasm radiates through my entire body. You feel me moan against your cock, and feel my pussy pulse against your leg. I greedily swallow your cum, listening to you roar, feeling you shake as your cock continues to throb inside me....

*dreamy sigh*

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmMUSCLES!

...two days ago...

This ring tone goes off on The Precious...

*Evilicious smiles*

Evie: Hello Muscles

Muscles: *laughs* You always call me that.

Evie: *giggles* It suits you, does it not?

Muscles: *laughs again*

....we chit chat for a while, and then the subject turns to last year's infamous staff party, when I drunkenly disclosed to him that I write a sex blog....

Muscles: You're bartending again this year, right?

Evie: Uhhhhhhhmmmm...I really shouldn't. Ugh.

Muscles: But I like it when you're drunk.

Evie: *deadpan* So does my husband. Ahem.

Muscles: *laughs* Oh yeah.

Evie: Exactly.

Muscles: Well, I still think you should bartend. That was the best staff party ever. *laughs*

Evie: *blushes, cringes, blushes more, gets off phone as quickly as possible*

...fast forward to today...

...I am at work, watching season one of "Prison Break", paying zero attention to the coming and goings surrounding me...

A deep voice in my ear: Is that the show with the guy with the tattoos?

Evie: *squeaks*

Muscles: You're way too easy.

Evie: *arches a brow*

Muscles: I take that back. You're kind of a pain in the ass really.

Evie: Hrmph.

Muscles: Sooo...wanna see MY tattoo? *starts to lift his shirt*

Evie: Gawwwwd yes. *pause* I mean.....NO! No no NO!!!!!!!!

...he looks down at my desk, notices the baby bottle that belongs to my assistant's kitten...

Muscles: If I put that bottle in my mouth, will it make me purr?

Evie: *blink* Uhm...doubtful.

Muscles: *looks me square in the eyes* You make me purr.

Evie: ...........

Fuck you Friday #6

I was in this strange mood when I took my HNT pictures this week. Normally taking them makes me feel rather giddy. Wednesday was quite different. I am not sure if it was because I have been sickly or if it was something else.

The pictures came out so.......moody.

Dark. Very dark. (Insert Dark and Mysterious joke here. heh.)

I am not sure if my mood prompted the pictures or the pictures prompted the mood.

There's a few people that I send pics to each week that I don't post on the blog. I only sent this round to one person. The pics just made me feel so.......naked. Showing things in my face that I don't usually let people see. This is the only hint of that series will ever be seen here on my normally irreverent blog.

I am a naturally happy person. I don't know WTF happened to me this week. It must be hormones?

Sooo.....fuck you to my frikkin body for producing hormones/chemicals/whatever the hell it was that temporarily wrecked my good nature.

And Fuck You Friday the 13th.

I WILL HAVE A GOOD DAY DAMNIT.

Please visit the creators of FYF, MG and Tequila Girl, and give 'em a good spank.

Half Nekkid Thursday....

I'm puny, so tonight, you get Pjays!

Now go give Osbasso a big smoochie hello!

Does this make me a ho?

Someone asked me today if I could list every man I've had sex with. I replied, yes, of course I can! So, on a lark, I started typing out names.

FUCK!

I can't remember the traveling sales dude's name!!!!!!!

He was someone I met on line somewhere. He was traveling to Houston to do a sales pitch to a local college. I think it was software maybe? It's vague.

I was dating a few people, but was not committed to anyone.

We had traded pictures, talked a few times. He was going to be staying in a hotel down town near where I worked at the time. He asked if I wanted to come over. I was horny and alone that night, so I said yes.

Sex with him was better than what I had been used to up until then. He had a nice bod. He was the first man who ever told me I gave him the best blow job of his life.

I still smile when I think about that. ;)

He had really big hands. He liked to have me on my back with my legs scissored straight up in the air. He could wrap one of his giant hands around both of my ankles and hold them up. I thought that was kinda neat.

I faked a couple orgasms, and went home.

Yes, Flowers, I used to have to fake them. That was back before I knew how to have one with male participation......but that is a story for another day.

Back to the topic at hand..... WTF was his name?!?!?! The last time I spoke to him was the night Princess Diana was killed. Think Evie. THINK!

*grumble*

If I can remember the name, does that mean I am NOT a ho though? Or would that just make me a ho with a better memory.

Hmmm.

You see these shackles baby I'm your slave...I'll let you whip me if I misbehave...

That title has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. I just like singing it. LOL
~
Your skin may not be able to contain you now, as it feels like you are ready to shed whatever is holding you back. Like a snake outgrowing its skin, you have moved beyond the teachers and mentors that have brought you this far. But you're not going to escape without first finishing what you've started.

That's my horoscope today. It kind of startled me. I know those things are kinda hokey, but every now and then, BAM! It nails me.

This is the one kind of "getting nailed" that I am not so sure I like.

~
I had a good friend tell me that they were told by their Significant Other that they will probably never want to have sex again. Never. As in, FOREVER, THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, with no sex. I was so stunned and sad for this person. I STILL can't quote grasp the concept. NEVER AGAIN? With someone who like, said vows and stuff? OMG.

~

One of my favorite blogs, 100 Records , has to shut it's doors. Fucking IFPI . *growl*
~
Have you checked out this post yet? If not, you should. It provides the best insight I have ever read in to blogosphere/internet relationships. The author is British, and though I am quite sure you have noticed I have a Brit fetish (EA/Roy (I know he is technically American but he counts!)/Suze/WDKY/The Girl/Rentboy/Pooshie/Dirty Boy and I could go on and on) ignore my perceived bias and go read. Trust me.
~
SJR turned me on to Ken and Ariel. Check them out too. Damn they make me laugh. I think Ken and SJR may have been separated at birth.
~
My girl LL has moved her site to it's own domain name. I want to do that, just so that my email addy can be Evie@eviliciousblonde.com. LOL
~

Today I am listening (and dancing) to Squirrel Nut Zippers. I have "Hell" as a ringer tone on "The Precious". I currently have it assigned to "Muscles" and a religious fanatic friend. I laugh every time it goes off.

~

Speaking of Muscles......damn was he ever taunting me last night. He was picking on my somewhat flakey assistant. He is a lot like me in that everything he says has a deliberate sexual undertone to it, 99% of which is missed by the average person....all of which flew right over my assistant's head. I was cracking up.

He flexed at me again. I squeaked.

Well speak of the devil. I just got an email from him.

How ironical.

~

I haven't written about The Wee General, my ex-trainer/next door neighbor/occasional make out partner in a while. I had this annoying realization that she only calls me when she wants something from me (babysit my kids, get me concert tickets, do you have a spare bottle of wine, come drink with me so I can attack you and confuse you, etc) and it has kinda turned me off lately.

~

Lots of drama at work last night. Multiple firings due to "sticky fingers". Not in my department, thank goodness, but it still weirded me out. Kids are so frikkin stupid.

~
As a thank you for indulging my little all-over-the-map post today, here's a Smurf Boobie pic. LOL! I love photo shop.

Happy Saturday Flowers!

Found a new blog I love.....

A friend turned me on to this post today. I thought the author brilliantly summed up internet relationships.

Go read and absorb, my pretty pretty Flowers.

Happy (more than Half) Nekkid Thursday!

Now go give Osbasso a nice little spank hello!

Ohhhhhhhhhh am I annoyed.

Apparently something is wrong with my blog. So far two people have mentioned pop ups showing up when they visit here. Has this happened to any of you before on your own blogs? What do I do to fix it?

*growl*

Die pop ups die.

Monday. Blah!

I'm feeling chatty. Bored, and chatty.

First......this vid is a little shout out to someone I sent my blog addy to today.



I would soooooooo do Bruce Campbell.....mmmmm....Boomstick....

*giggling*

So where was I.

Oh yes, feeling chatty.

I apologize for neglecting my pretty pretty Flowers lately. Work has been a pain. One more week and things should calm down for a while.

I realized today I have been doing Half Nekkid Thursday pics for almost a year. Crikey. I've only missed twice because of vacation. That is just a little obsessive, dontcha think? LOL

I haven't had sex since Friday. I am feeling a little frantic. I am desperate need of a good hard spanking, followed by a good hard.......something else.

;)

Happy Anniversary Honey....

I can't believe it has been seven years since we were standing in that beautiful chapel in a castle so far away. You're such a blessing. I love you so much, my beautiful, wonderful husband.

Now.....assume the position. LOL!

HNT -- Feeding my Oral Fixation.... ;)

Now go give Osbasso a nice little pinch on the ass hello!

A naughty little post.

I posted this last November, in my previous little blogosphere existance. *grin*

I feel like doing a little re-post for all my new Flowers. *wicked grin*

This is not safe for work, children or pets.

;)

Mmmmm........

I thought of another addiction......more of an obsession really, so it gets it's own post.

Watching men use power tools.

*pant*

Ten addictions....

Music.

Porn.

Politics.

Love.

Shopping.

Bailey's Caramel.

Sex.

My Xterra.

Coach.

The blogosphere.

**UPDATE** How could I have left off.....

Email.

Gmail chat.

You tube.

Kittens, puppies and babies.

My job.

My fur and leather paddle.

Damn....I guess I have an "addictive" personality...

Fuck you Friday #5

First, I'd like to say a friendly little "Fuck you" to my cell phone, formerly known as "The Precious", for making me think this picture turned out ok when it is in fact a blurry mess.

So.....Fuck you Not-so-Precious.

Second, I would like to tell my hairstylist to fuck off for scalping me last weekend. I am STILL not over that. FOUR. INCHES. *whine*

Third, a nice big fuck you to drama. I have way too much of it in my life these days.

Fourth, fuck you to the people in my life who take me for granted and hurt me all the time.

And Fifth, Fuck me! Please? God I need it!

Please visit the creators of FUF, MG and Tequila Girl, and say hi!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

First pics since I got scalped last weekend (four inches gone! *sob*)...

Now go give Osbasso a big ole smooch!

This song.....

.....makes me want to have rough, passionate, borderline violent sex.

Mmmmmm.....I like the idea of being spanked, flogged and paddled to the beat of it.......

....and then, when my ass can't take any more punishment, being fucked until my damn eyes cross.

(not permanently, of course)

;)



"Count bodies like sheep" by A Perfect Circle....

Happy Birthday SJR!

A birthday toast from Cougar:
May the bloody piles possess them
May the corns adorn their feet
May the crabs as big as horse turds
Hang off their balls and eat
And when they're old and feeble
A syphilitic wreck
I hope their spine falls through their asshole
And breaks their G*! D@#n neck!

And now.....an updated list of favorite things the birthday boy has said! Some to me, some to Coug, some here and there in the blogosphere..... ;)

1. Hawwwwwwwwwt!
2. You ever see a relaxed Liberal?
3. I have thick luxurious hair damnit!
4. You've done well, my young apprentice.
5. What's a get out of jail free card?
6. Very naughty you are little Miss Blondie!
7. Wench!
8. I look forward to keeping the both of you satisfied, I mean occupied...
9. I may not be 'new' but I am feeling a little warm...
10. Was that a good slap or a bad slap?
11. I'm just sayin'...
12. I'm very happy to announce, that you have passed with flying FuckMePump's, I mean, colors!!!
13. Bah, who needs a halo anyway?
14. They are obviously all liberals and scared of me. Rooooooaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
15. ....or as Doggie would put it: RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFF! He takes after me you know.
16. I do have a hot nasty story or two up my sleeve.
17. Holy hot damn.
18. You are very cute when you are on strike.
19. Seen anyone in butt floss today?
20. By the way, nipples are above the waist.
21. Baseball is NOT determined by cuteness.
22. Caterpillars?
23. Shiny, sparkily and skimpy, heh. Perfect!!!
24. I may have to redesignate her... PT G/F # 1.7 she's slipping...
25. *thinking that a pic in a little black t-shirt would certainly help the deduction to be reconsidered*
26. I think I may be in trouble here.
27. What can I say... I'm a giver..
28. What is it that you say Blondie? We are all going straight to hell?
29. Balls? Did I hear... balls????????? I have some you know.
30. You are wearing a bikini to work, right?
31. We are so much alike it is scary, lol.
32. You two start making out ar anything?
33. I think this is the perfect opportunity to toss him to the curb. And kick him while he is down. And let me kick him a few times. And then let my doggie bite him. And pull out his dreads.
34. Ohhhhhhhhhhh I agree! Everything is better after a few buttery nipples!
35. Now now now... no need to stomp and pout. That will get you (edited to protect the innocent...?)...
36. Growwwwwwwwwwly.
37. I'm Tom Jones and my Penis is Ultrasonicly Pendulous Baby!!!
38. MmmmmmHmmmmmmm....
39. I may need to call in some back up!
40. I'd better get to the gym. Need stamina for all this!
41. Cock at the bottom... mmmmmmmm yes :)
42. The bottom line in the whole boy and girl game is this: "Girls control the pussy".
43. Do you like girls?
44. I'm a bad bad bad bad bad bad boy.
45. I have chocolate whip cream if you need it :)
46. Holy... uh... what happened after that pic was taken? Hmmmmm hmmmmmm?
47. I can't decide if I think it is sexy or gross!
48. lol. yeah you just got to let it flow man...
49. I love boobs.
50. What can I say. I'm a hunk.

Yes, birthday boy, you are!

Music Video:CALIFORNICATION (LIVE) (by Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Oi.

I woke up naked, and I don't have a clue how I got that way.

Well, ok, I vaguely remember losing my pants during the 3-way I had with a couple gorgeous girls with the cutest voices EVER (hence forth known here as Evilicious Cat Nip).

Too bad we couldn't get audio blogger to record us together. There was talk of an orgasm-faking-contest.

*wicked grin*

I think I am still drunk.

Caption it!

.....and the winner was......Jason!

You guys are all so clever. I'm in awe! Truly.

Dark and mysterious damnit. DARK AND MYSTERIOUS.

You Are a Strawberry Margarita

You're so sweet it's a little overwhelming, and people are a little afraid of corrupting you... It's a little difficult to imagine you with a margarita. And you're truly a different person after you've kicked back a couple!

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

- - - - - - -

From my weekly horoscope email...

Evilicious, you haven't been treated fairly lately, and this weekend is a good time to wake up and change the situation. Someone else's needs or insecurity is no reason for you to continue to give more than you get. Expect a better deal in relationships and you just might get it.

Slash and burn baby. Slash and burn.

When suffering from self doubt, read the news...

Man needs surgery after sex with hedgehog

Nope, there is nothing wrong with me. Not a damn thing.

Pant.

Stop what you are doing and go read this immediately.

Power trip

(You pervs looking for HNT pics, scroll down. heh.)

Cougar and I went to lunch a couple days ago. We were talking about a very erotic, though innocent, experience she had at the Tool concert last Monday.

It brought back a memory that still makes me grin.

Black Crowes concert, around 1991 or 1992...back when you could still stand on your chair and dance...

...which is exactly what I was doing when I met Geoff.

I was with a girlfriend and her other half. We were having fun, when...

*pinch*

Right on my ass. I turned around, and couldn't tell who did it. I noticed this really cute blonde haired guy who was looking in a different direction, and I remember thinking, damn, I wish it had been him.

I faced the band again, and went back to shaking my tail.

*pinch*

Felt it again, harder this time.

I quickly turned around, and this time, the blonde haired guy was looking at me with a big grin on his face. I laughed and smiled back. I thought he was reaching to shake my hand, but no. He grabbed my arm and pulled himself up on my chair.

Black Crowes music was great to bump and grind to.

By the end of the show, we had become fairly well aquainted with one another's bodies. I was standing in front of him, my ass grinding against his pelvis. His hands were everywhere you would assume they might wander.... Damn that was fun.

I wrote my number on his arm in eyeliner, never really expecting to hear from him again.

The second I got home, my phone rang.

*grin*

He begged me to come over. It was midnight. I had never done anything like this before......

It took me probably....five seconds to give in to my first ever booty call. LOL

He gave me directions to his place, and off I went.

When I arrived at his apartment, I knocked and knocked, and almost gave up until a slight movement caught my eye. I could see him inside, asleep. Damn he was cute.

He was kinda dim too. His door was unlocked.

Being the somewhat brainless 21 year old that I was, I took that as an invitation, and in I went.

I said his name, and he popped awake, looking momentarily confused.

He focused on me, smiled, and patted his bed. I sat down, sort of facing him. We stared at each other, neither of us saying a word.

I love that moment......knowing what is about to happen for the very first time between you.....that thrill, where you can barely breathe....when all you can think about is what the other person is going to feel like when they press their naked body against yours...oh my yes.......

He patted the bed again. I laid down next to him. We still had not touched each other since my arrival. I remember opening my mouth to say something, and he rolled on top of me and thrust his tongue in to my mouth.

Damn it was great.

So we are kissing, and rubbing, and touching, and petting, but still fully clothed. After about a half hour, he slowed us down and began talking to me. He rolled on to his back and pulled me on top of him. I can't remember what he said, but we touched and talked for quite a while.

While we were talking, he began to undress me, very casually. Before I knew it, I was naked, and he was still fully clothed. I loved it.

We began kissing again, working each other up in to a frenzy. I pretty much ripped his clothes off and begged him to fuck me.

And boy did he ever fuck me for a loooooooong time. It totally confused me, because until that time, I had only been with a couple boys my age who had ZERO staying power. Geoff was 30, my first lover with experience, and it seemed like he would keep at me forever.

Though I never had an orgasm (I didn't have one with male participation until I was 27), I had a damn good time with him. It felt fantastic.

After two hours of every position in the damn book, he finally came.

We were laying there, panting and exhausted and he tells me he has a confession.

It turns out in the first 30 minutes of us making out with our clothes on, he had an orgasm! He totally hid it from me. I had NO idea! That is why he slowed me down to talk for a half hour. He needed to recover.

*grin*

That was the first time I ever realized I had sexual "power".

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

Feelin' naughty..... Feelin' brave.....

Click for brave. ;)

Sometimes, a girl just needs a good flogging...

*purrrrrrrrrrrr*

Sex please, I'm driving.

You ever have one of those days that was so ridiculously over the top bad that you couldn't help but laugh, somewhat hysterically, at the sheer horror of it all?

Yeah. Me too. Today in fact.

Oh, and about that post title......nobody that reads this blog is going to "get" the inside joke.

Too bad. It is fucking hysterical.

I need a margarita........and a vicodan...............percoset might be nice.......and weed.....I miss weed......

911

We'd had the trip planned for 8 months....a mother/daughter trip to New York. Third time for me, first time for her.

The trip was set for the first weekend of November, 2001.

We almost didn't go. People everywhere were still scared to fly. And holy merde, we were going to NYC around 7 weeks post 911...

But we went, and I will always be glad we did not chicken out.

We took a bus to a park. I cannot remember the name of it - I think it was Battery? It was down the street from WTC. We walked up the street, pausing to look at the "missing" posters walls, poles, etc. We came to a barricade. Policemen were standing there. You could walk up to them and talk to them, and look past them to the destruction. There were blocks and blocks of similar barricades with policemen standing guard. Garbage trucks hauling debris were everywhere. It was still so foggy. You could see the dust on buildings up and down the street. It smelled like burning metal and death. The smell literally made my teeth hurt.

We asked a police officer if there was a firehouse nearby. We explained my grandfather had been a fire chief, and that my mother had grown up in a fire house. They pointed us towards Duane Street.

There were flowers every where. Lots of people were inside, talking to the fire fighters, making donations, dropping off food. An older fire fighter heard us telling a younger fire fighter about my grandpa, and he took a liking to us. We talked to him for over an hour. He walked us all around, let us take a picture with him.... and he showed us the board. The board was a giant dry erase board on the wall. It was a calendar of all of the memorial services for firefighters.

Seeing that board......seeing the twisted metal.....smelling that awful smell....seeing the firefighters in their dress blues either coming from or going to the funerals.... My god it was overwhelming. We cried a lot during that week.

Tonight, I watched the repeat of the 911 documentary filmed by french brothers Jules and Gedeon Naudet on the Duane Street firehouse (one of the brothers filmed the only known footage of the first plane hitting tower one). I think the first time the documentary aired was maybe....2002? Not sure. Anyways.....Mom and I were shocked as hell the first time that documentary aired. We had hung out with five of the firefighters who were featured in the documentary, and been all over that fire house.

Seeing it again, now five years post 911....

Wow.

The gentleman who was so kind to us, the one I mentioned took a liking to us, has since retired. Hearing his story again...

I haven't looked at my pictures of the still smoking WTC and the firemen we met in a loooong time. They aren't exactly something one displays on a wall. I'm glad that I have them, but they are hard to look at.

Tonight, I pulled out my photo album, remembering our time there so clearly, and bawled like a baby.

Fuck you Friday #4

I know I have a list of things somewhere in my wittle blonde head to use for Fuck You Friday.....I just can't seem to call any of it up at the moment. Too frikkin tired!

Hmmmm.....soo....fuck you.....to my brain.....for not being awake enough.....for me to remember what.....I wanted to do.....my fuck you friday post on.

Yeah.

Fuck my brain.

Please visit the creators of FUF, MG and Tequila Girl, and say hi!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

A little thank you HNT for all my favorite military men...

Note, the "bullet" clasp. LOL!

BDS, my husband

Blackops

CBFTW, my Blogfather

Crutch
Doc in the box
Free
Jpck20
SJR
Sgt Smartass
Travis

To join in the HNT fun, click below!