Nipples does Vegas

Nipples won the initial coin toss against Vegas and managed to stay ahead through the first quarter (all night Friday).

Second quarter went to Vegas, as Nipples was hungover and sickly Saturday morning and afternoon.

He rallied in the third quarter (Sat night) and managed to pull yet another all nighter which included going to the latest Cirque show, lots of bar hopping, and being sandwiched and groped by bachelor party girls in costumes (a cop and a dirty martini). I will neither confirm nor deny any spit swapping. Ahem.

Vegas got even in the fourth with a hail mary pass. All of my texts from him on Sunday were "grrrroan", "ohhhhh", "uuuugh", etc. It sounds like it was downright ugly.

Though the "game" was tied, I have to give the win to Nipples, who some how managed to come home with more money than he left with.

I think he's still drunk though.

My favorite things....in random order

The sexy guitar player in this picture that I hung out with last night. He wants me. Bad.

Laughing until my sides hurt with BBF and HPF.

Snuggling.

Spankings.

Affectionate animals.

Affectionate men.

British, Scottish and Irish accents.

Soft, silky lingerie.

Rascals.

Fall weather.

My gigantic kitchen.

My cell phone.

Telling LL that I know she is a really a total softie and watching her reaction.

Kissing for hours.

Nicknames, both giving and receiving.

Obliterating stereotypes.

Mac cosmetics.

Christmas.

Gerbera Daisies.

Buttery Nipples shots.

Sharing fantasies.

Vanilla Sugar Cookie candles.

Thigh highs.

My Xterra.

Free porn.

Drunken phone calls and texts.

Hockey players.

Teasing, both giving and receiving.

Scotland.

Talking about sex.

Friction.

Being on top.

Surfing the internet.

Andy Pettitte's ass.

Leather toys.

The smell of burning leaves in cold fall weather.

Acting silly to make someone laugh.

Reading a kick ass book.

The Wee General and her sassy daughter.

Watching Other Half when he talks to my Mom on the phone.

Theatre.

My new vibrator.

Music.

My family.

My vintage Gucci bag.

Oral sex.

Orgasms from oral sex.

Chanel.

The History Channel.

Italian wine.

Strong, broad shoulders.

Thunderstorms.

Kinky sex.

Orgasms from kinky sex.

The endorphin rush after a good work out.

Shopping.

My new vibrator (had to mention it twice).

My autograph collection.

Sleeping late.

Hot, sweaty, passionate sex.

Orgasms from hot, sweaty, passionate sex.

Writing naughty stories.

Old family photographs.

Role playing in the bedroom.

Freshly laundered sheets and towels.

Frozen margaritas and Tex Mex food.

My jacuzzi tub.

Falling asleep while having my back rubbed.

Mel Brooks and Monty Python.

Godiva truffles.

Versace Woman and Versace Crystal Noir perfume.

Babies.

Having my hair gently brushed.

Lost.

Emails.

Manicures.

Bubble baths.

Movies.

Blog comments.

Being in love.

My pretty pretty Flowers.

Random bits....

Oh my Flowers........I am giggling like a frikkin maniac today.

Too many good things happening.......

** Despite my abs being on fire, my legs being total jello, and not being able to lift my arms very high (damn wee general!), I feel pretty damn great today. I'm walkin' kinda funny though. heheheheheee

** I am still madly in love with my new vibe, aka "The Precious".....but no, I do not make weird "Gollum" type noises when I talk about it.......but I do tend to start purrrrrrring.

** I never mentioned over here on the blog that Colby Buzzell's publishing company actually contacted me and asked me to review his book on my blog. I would have reviewed it anyway 'cause he's my blogfather, but damn was I honored they asked. Well, last week, they emailed me and asked me to review another of their books. It arrived on Monday. I haven't had time to read it yet, but coming soon, a review of Richard A. Clarke's (yes, that Richard Clarke) new book "The Scorpion's Gate". I want to talk about another book first though, called "Future Proof". Hopefully I'll have time this weekend to finish my post about F.P., and then move on to the Clarke novel.

This Clarke book is neat because it is an actual "reviewers" copy. The copy of "My War" they sent me was just like the one I bought from amazon.com. This one has "Uncorrected Proof for Limited Distribution" on the top of the cover. On the back, it has all sorts of publishing info -- how many first printing books, the type of advertising they are doing, the type of publicity Clarke is doing, etc... I think it's pretty darn cool. Even if I don't enjoy the story, I'm keeping it forever. I am just so tickled by be asked to do another one. Woo hoo!

I think after we do Clarke together (hehehehehe) we'll have to move on to some naughty books. One of my favorite Flowers suggested I do a naughty book club (think pervy Oprah). I am LOVING that idea. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

** My new template will be installed some time next week, and I am positively GIDDY about it. Mia from the newly reformed Ciao My Bella is doing it. It's hawwwwwwwwwt! I can't wait for you to see it!!!

** I don't get geeked out about celebrities anymore, I'm around them a lot because....well....just never mind, too much information......but it looks like I am going to get to hang out with one of my rock star heroes a bit today and I am positively spazzzzzzing! If it happens, I'll fill in some details. Man oh man. Am I ever going to be impossible to deal with.....LOL!!!!!!!!

** Nipples/HPF wants to fly me and BBF to Vegas. Like, now. Today. LOL. Think we should go?

And before I skip back to work......

Sunday is Kent's birthday! He's a very talented screenwriter, who has a terrific blog called Right from Left that I just added to my links last week. Be sure and pop over and wish him a happy day!

I hope MJ, my favorite Philly Irishman, is drinking heavily, letting off some steam, and having fun with the Penn state game

I hope HPF has bail money.

I hope BBF has recovered from her move to the Estate on the Lake.

I hope LL gets to ride her bike this weekend.

I hope Earth Rooster has a good time at his halloween parties.

I hope Acidman's treatment is going well 'cause I miss him like crazy.

I hope kitten has time to purrrrr today.

I hope Colby's book sells a thousand copies today.

I hope you all have things in your lives that you are happy and excited about.

I love you, my pretty pretty Flowers.......

Batten down the hatches Vegas.....

Lock up your daughters, girlfriends, wives, and female pets.

Ubie/Biscuit/Nipples/HPF is heading to Vegas for the weekend!

Something tells me outrageous things are going to be happening. I'm not sure my virgin ears can handle the details. He'd better cough 'em up though!

*snicker*

Boundaries

My dear, darling Flowers.

I love you one and all. I truly do. You all make me so very happy.

I don't have any rules here on PervRep...

...but I do feel like I should remind my lovelies that I am happily married lady.

Like I said, no big rules here....but I do have a few personal "boundaries".

I love flirting in comments and emails and such, but please understand, it's not going further than that.

Doesn't mean I don't love you.

Doesn't mean I am not going to flirt just as hard in the blogosphere as always...

...but please be respectful of my relationship when we talk, whether it is on site or off.

I want you to share, discuss, make friends, flirt, whatever you want here. I have an open door policy, where anything goes. I love, love, love the emails, text messages, phone calls, everything. But please understand that I have my limits and face to face meetings are not in the cards unless it is in a group type situation. I would love to meet every one of you, but not in a "romantic" way.....well.....except for Fred and Wilma. *wicked grin*

Again, this isn't directed at anyone in particular, just a general explanation before someone gets their feelings hurt.

xoxoxoxoxoxo
-b

Scene from the gym...

Scene: The Gym

The Players: Blondage and her evil trainer, aka The Wee General

Blondage: *whimper*

Wee General: Oh stop being such a pussy.

Blondage: *GLARE*

Wee General: *laughs* That's better. Get angry.

Blondage: This isn't anger. It's pain and fear.

Wee General: *laughs again*

Blondage: Cute outfit today.

Wee General: *strikes a pose* I bought it this morning. *rolls her eyes*

Blondage: What's the eye roll for?

Wee General: Hub insisted on going shopping with me again.

Blondage: Rut roh. First time since the boob job?

Wee General: *groans* Yes. He went in to the "young miss/jailbait" department and made me try on all these school girl outfits.

Blondage: *cracks up* I know lots of people with school girl fetishes.

Wee General: When I refused to buy them, you know what he did???

Blondage: *laughs harder* Oh boy. What?

Wee General: He whipped out his phone and took pictures of me in them!!!!

Blondage: Sometimes I swear we are married to the same man.

Wee General: *gasps* But your Other Half is so SWEET! He is always grinning at me.

Blondage: *thinks to self, it's because he is mesmerized by your new boobies*

Wee General: What?!?!? What are you thinking?

Blondage: That you don't know Other Half as well as you think you do. *pictures Other Half wielding a crop and a flogger and starts giggling harder*

Wee General: WHAT!?!?!? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!??!?!?!

Blondage: *laughs REALLY hard and shakes head*

Random guy standing next to us: HEY! I Wanna know what you were thinking about TOO!

Blondage: *stifles a grin, shakes head, pretends she is suddenly struck deaf*

Wee General: I am soooooo getting even with you on abs tonight.

Blondage: *gasps and whimpers*

Wee General: *smiles triumphantly*

.......and now......a mere two hours later.....Blondage's abs are already so sore that she can barely breathe!!!!!!!

I swear, she may look sweet and lovely, but the Wee General is effing EVIL! EVIL I say!!!!!!

No sex for me tonight. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

*mutters lots of curse words under her breath and heads off to soak in the jacuzzi tub*

Astros

Soooo.........Nipples/HPF, BBF and I have this running debate about baseball. It started with this wild texting we did while BBF and I were at an Astros game. I wrote about it here. Good grief the three of us have fun together.

Anyways.

We were going on and on about how adorable the Astros are, and how homely his L.A. team was. I believe we used the word "caterpillars" a lot. Those guys really need to wax their eyebrows.

One of my favorite Nipples/Biscuit/HPF quotes came from that texting...."Baseball is NOT determined by CUTENESS".

After the Astros won the division championship, I was rejoicing, throwing lots of naner naner naaaaaners at HPF, and saying I won the debate, that baseball is INDEED determined by cuteness.

Sooo......HPF sends me a text after the Astros lose and says "Hmmmm....guess it turns out that baseball is determined by PITCHING".

*growl*

Damnit.

Ode to my vibrator

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Blondage Forum, Issue II

I think I am going to stick with one story per issue from now on......this one was sent in by one of my sexy male Flowers named SJR, who used to write "In a nutshell", which is still in my naughty links.....even though he disabled his blog temporarily, the rascal! I think this is the perfect story for today, considering we have been discussing phone sex. Woo hoo! Enjoy, my lovely Flowers...

EMF and the vibrator.............by SJR..............

I don't think there is anything sexier in this whole wide world than listening to a woman in pleasure. I don't necessarily mean the loud screaming kind, although that's hot, but I mean the little gasps and moans that come out when she is first starting out, then hearing her build all the way to the end.

Case in point, yesterday.

Not only was I just super horny from finishing my [blog] post and reliving the experience all over again, but all the nice sexy comments left in response very much further fueled the fire! Then to add to my misery (ok, it's a really good misery, but a guy can only take so much) EMF (Email friend) called me on my drive home. Seems she had purchased a new toy and wanted to let me listen to her try it out for the first time!

What the fuck?

She does that to me on purpose the little wench.

She knows how it gets to me. There will be payback, I promise!

I'd put in a link to the toy she purchased, because it sounds really cool, but ah, the old work firewall and all that, no overt sex links allowed! Not even going to mention anything about blogs in fear of the karma monster.

So it's this gel-vibe thing that is able to swivel?

Anyway, Wed.'s are usually our phone sex night, as her hubby does something and with our different time zones and work schedules and the wife getting home later than me; it usually allows us an hour or two to play. But yesterday I had shit to do and couldn't stay at home, so she punished me with this little bit of torture.

She calls me and asks me very coyly: "Are you going to play with me today?" Of course, asking this knowing full well I couldn't.

"You know I would love to, but I can't, I have to take care of some things" I respond, anticipating what is about to come next with a mix of horniness and fear.

"Well that's really too bad" she breathes, "because I have this sexy new toy and I'm just dying to try it out". Again knowing full well she had already described it to me in detail via e-mail earlier.

"No no, don't do this to me, plllleeeeeaaaaasssseeeeee" I beg. I just know what is coming next. I am already picturing it in my mind.

"Oh, it's so cute, you should see it... I think I'm going to just... *gasp* put it inside my pussy for you *oh* that feels really nice *oh* *gasp* mmmmm I like this new toy *gasp* ohhhh my pussy is so wet for you mmmmmmmmm"

That's how it went the whole drive home.

Fucking TORTURE!

I was trying to drive, hold the phone and rub my cock the entire time!!!

God those sexy little moans and gasps coming from her. Such a turn on to listen to that. Not the fake stuff you hear on porno's. Just the soft little gasps and sighs and sounds of her pleasuring herself. And then she did the swivel thing and she started really moaning. She timed it just right, building her self-up to a great orgasm right before I pull into my driveway.

"Oh yeah, I'm so glad I bought this! And this is what you get for not being able to play with me today" she says after finishing, and then hangs up.

Fuck me.

I can't even stop to rub one out myself, because I have an appointment to go to. Just enough time to walk the dog and clean up after work. My body is on fire and my poor cock doesn't know what to think. I'm telling you, a guy can only take so much! I have only have one thing to say: Payback is a bitch!!

Topic for the day - Phone sex!

I wanna talk about phone sex!

What do you think about it my lovelies?

Do you think it's hot?

Do you think it's lame?

Personally, I love it. I've only had one really bad experience with it (I wrote about it not long ago, phone sex with the guy with the lisp!). I've loved it other than that one time.

Someone asked me recently why I adore it so much.

I think it's because you have to rely on words and sounds.....you go deep inside your head.....you and your partner have to describe in detail what you are doing, how you are feeling, what you'd like to do to them. Sometimes I think people forget how hot that can be when you are having r/l sex.

Me? I'm a talker. Deeper, longer, more, now, slower, faster.....and having someone join in just makes me crazy.....

So maybe that's why I love phone sex? It forces your partner to talk dirty......and I looooooooooove being talked dirty to.

So what do you think? Phone sex is fun? Phone sex is ok? You've never tried it? Or you just aren't in to it.

Talk to me.

One of my strangest search engine hits ever

Two men fucking a watermelon

WTF?!?!?!?!??!

Time to water the Flowers

Spent most of the day in bed.......sleeping for once.

*grin*

Gosh it felt good to sleep.

I figured out that I worked somewhere between 80-85 hours between Mon-Sat last week, and at least 55 were from Thu-Sat.

To say I was "Toe up" would be a serious understatement.

So I slept....and I slept........and I slept some more...........

I'm starting to feel human again.

Thank you, my lovely Flowers. Your comments, emails and phone calls kept me distracted and entertained from all the ickiness that was swirling and whirling all around me.

So....what would you like as a treat? I owe you big time, my lovelies.

I've shown you mine...tell me about yours!

Today's topic of discussion.....toys toys toys!!!!!

You've had a bit of a peek inside my toy box....I have oodles more that I may post pics of......

But now I have questions for you, my lovely Flowers.

Tell me about your naughty bits.....err.....I mean toys.

*grin*

What's your favorite toy to use on your partner?

What's your favorite toy to have used on you by your partner?

What are you dying to play with that you've never tried?

Do any toys make you nervous?

Have you ever had a toy used on you that you hated?

Talk to me my lovelies....

Oi my achin' head

Last night, when Blondage got home from work at approximately midnight, she consumed two beers within one hour whilst talking on the phone to very cool bird.

How is it possible, that having only consumed two beers, that she is completely hung over today?

*whimper*

Oh I dunno.....is this me? LOL!

Bondage Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Pilfered from Earth Rooster.....who got it from Master Shorty....

BBF's answers to the "Two" Meme....

LL, ask and you shall receive! *grin*

BBF (Blondage's Best Friend) sent me her answers to the "Two" thing. Here ya go!

Two Names You Go By
1. Traaash (Blondage adds....nuthin' but Traaaaaaaaaaaaaash!)
2. bbf

Two Things That Scare You
1. Suffering before dying
2. Airplane Crashes

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Flirting
2. Chocolate

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. black capri pants ...
2. Victoria’s Secret….unmentionables

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Hot, sweaty sex
2. trust

Two Truths
1. I am a very strong individual
2. I love life

Two things you hate
1. liars
2. liver and onions

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. A big, muscly butt
2. bedroom eyes

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Going to concerts (and drinking heavily while there)
2. Playing games

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. To score with all the guys on my “hot” list
2. Wealth

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Any place tropical - but not in danger of tsunamis
2. Disney World/Universal Studios

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Go to a live sex club in Amsterdam
2. Go on a walking ghost tour

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a girl/guy
1. I use lots of girlie facial and hair products – and I LOVE bubble baths
2. I like to tease…

Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
1. I love porn.
2. I am fascinated by vampires/ghosts, etc.

Two people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Biscuit Nipples – He’s the only one I know!

I'd rather have something else in my mouth....

....but this will do for now...

New CBFTW article!!!!

Colby "CBFTW" Buzzell has a brand spankin' new article up on nerve.com. Woo hoo!!!

The topic is really interesting -- love, sex and the soldier in a combat zone. CB discusses how soldiers uhmmm..."relieved stress", used the technology available to them, met wimmins on line, etc... It's a great article. He answered a lot of questions that I wanted to ask, but have been too shy/embarassed/whatever to speak up about!

So drop what you are doing, and click here immediately!

Also, I picked up the latest Esquire today. His latest there is well worth purchasing the mag for.....and you boys will looooooove the cover. It is the "sexiest woman alive" issue!!!!

Go read it my Flowers! Enjoy!!!!

Quiz and discussion topic

You're just the happy go-lucky type. You might have
your pet peeves, but other than that, you're
mainly calm. Blending in with your
surroundings, you're the type of person who
everyone likes. Usually it's you who cracks
jokes at social gatherings - after all,
laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you
pretend to be stupid, but in all actuality, you
could be the next Einstein.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
Shamelessly pilfered from LL
- - - -

Another busy busy day at work......so new topic for discussion.

Why are FFM threesomes more "Accepted" than MMF threesomes?

Have you ever had a threesome?

Was it good, ok, awkward?

My first Dom had a threesome with two girls right before we started dating and he said that it was kind of mechanical -- ok, you do this, I am going to do that, she can be here, then we'll rotate, blah blah blah. I mean, he loved it, but he said there was a lot of talking....and one of the girls complained about feeling left out. Is that typical?

Discuss.

Love you Flowers!

Two

I discovered today that conference calls about icky work stuff can be cool if you have a MeMe to distract you. *grin*

LL tagged me on this one. I think I'll tag MJ , Master Shorty Mac and Roy....

Two Names You Go By
1. Blondage
2. Crash

Two Things That Scare You
1. Needles
2. Tornados

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. SEX
2. laughter

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. black capri pants ...
2. a new, totally cute little black lace bra (under my shirt of course, you Pervs!)

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Hmmmm....the same as my "everyday essentials" answer - kick ass sex
2. lots of laughter

Two Truths
1. I get flustered easy
2. I blush a lot

Two things you hate
1. terrorist bastards
2. canned spinach (gag! the smell! slimey! eeew!)

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. broad, strong shoulders
2. nice eyes that smile at me

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. BDSM play
2. Reading/writing

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. to always be as happy as I am now
2. and to meet my blog friends!

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Italy (never been)
2. Scotland (my favorite place to return to!)

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Join the mile high club
2. Do my "Sex Machine" at a swinger's club

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a girl/guy
1. I blush and giggle a lot
2. I buy every hair product on the damn market at least once. I should take a picture of my bathroom closet! Scary!

Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit
1. In real life, I don't go around admitting I am in to BDSM (except with people like BBF)
2. In the blogosphere, I don't usually let on or show how shy I can be in real life (except for now I guess!)

Two people I would like to see take this quiz (besides the ones I tagged)
1. BBF
2. Nipples Biscuit, but I'm not holding my breath! LOL!

A quickie post

Work bad! Work bad! Work bad!!!!!!!!!

I may be kinda quiet for the next couple days. I'll try to hop on a comment when I can (I'll be needing the stress relief!).

Soooo........

How about a "topic of the day" thing?

Quickies......a good thing? A bad thing? Would you rather have wam, bam thank you Ma'am sex than nothing at all? Or would you rather take your time......go slooooooooow....? Or is ANY sex good? *grin*

Discuss.

Official announcement #3

BBF hath decreed it, and so it shall be.....

Ubie/Nipples/Scar/HPF shall hence forth be known as "Biscuit".

Biscuit....as in "I'd like to butter that biscuit and sop him in some gravy!".

Thank you,

The Management

Deeper

Please.

Press your lips against mine.

Don't make me wait.

Kiss me deeper...and deeper...

Wrap me tightly in your arms.

Press your body close to mine.

Touch me.

Move with me.

Run your fingers through my hair, down my back.

Thrust inside me.

I need you.

Guide me.

Tell me what you want.

Dominate me.

Overwhelm me.

Cum inside me.

Ubersexuals

When the stars align just right for me, BBF and HPF/Nipples/Scar, we have these wacky three-way (cue Beavis laugh) email conversations. During the course of this morning’s little flirt-fest, Nipples brought up a topic I have been meaning to write about since last week.

"Oh btw, I saw a new term that I think fits me to a T. You both know the word Metrosexual right? Well a new poll was done on who was 'Ubersexual'. IE: The opposite of metrosexual, Ubersexual signifies a manly man."

We were joking about changing HPF/Nipples/Scar's nickname to Ubie. Perhaps re-nicknaming him will become a weekly feature? LOL!

Have you heard about the Uber-sexual thing my Flowers?

Here's the low-down.

JWT (as in J. Walter Thompson, the oldest ad firm around) has decided to stop using the term metrosexual. Now they hath decreed that "ubersexual," is the new catch phrase. There’s even a BOOK about it now.

Sooo…..in case you men wanted to know if you are Metrosexual or Ubersexual….

To help differentiate between metrosexuals and ubersexuals, JWT provided the following guide:

UBERSEXUAL - passionate about causes and principles; METROSEXUAL - passionate about himself
UBERSEXUAL - grooms his mind; METROSEXUAL - grooms his hair
UBERSEXUAL - men are his best friends; METROSEXUAL - are BFF with women
UBERSEXUAL - sexy, but not self-conscious; METROSEXUAL - narcissistic
UBERSEXUAL - consults art and culture; METROSEXUAL - gets tips from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" Fab Five
UBERSEXUAL - knows right from wrong; METROSEXUAL - knows difference between toner and exfoliant

I found this further explanation here .

* Both are passionate, but the uber is passionate about causes and principles, while the metro is mostly passionate about himself

* The uber spends more time grooming his mind than his hair

* Both treat and respect women as equals, but the uber considers other men, not women, his best friends

* The uber is more sensual and not at all self-conscious; he doesn't need other people to tell him he's sexy -- nor does he plan his errands around which shop windows offer the best reflection

* The metro gets design tips from the Fab Five; the uber gets them from his travels and interest in art and culture

* The uber knows the difference between right and wrong and will make the right decision regardless of what others around him may think; the metro knows the difference between toner and exfoliant -- and worries that he's using yesterday's brand.

And I found this list that for the most part annoyed me. Ahem.

10. Jon Stewart: He is outspoken without regard to what other people think (as evidenced by his skewering his hosts during this year’s Advertising Week). He is supportive of women and pokes fun at himself in a self-deprecating way.

9. Guy Ritchie: His masculinity is unquestioned even though he's married to one of the world's top music icons. (In fact, gravitating toward strong women tends to be an über trait.)

8. Pierce Brosnan: His James Bond strength was never compromised when we watched him publicly mourn his first wife (and raise her children). He has Remington Steele’s classic elegance and savoir faire.

7. Ewan McGregor: A handsome, fashionable family man, McGregor is versatile enough to go from riding his Harley Davidson around the world to walking the red carpet. He is comfortable in his own sexuality.

6. Barack Obama: At the DNC, he managed to marry sentimental love of family with a new face of patriotism. And he looks sharp in a suit.
We're going to be terrible people and make you click to the jump for the rest of the list. Because if it's one thing we do best it's use other people's marketing to push our own profit points.

5. Arnold Schwarzenegger: He journeyed from body builder to mega movie star to politician, all the while keeping his shoes buffed and hair in place. He has succeeded in every challenge he’s faced, and he has a Kennedy for a wife.

4. Donald Trump: Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money.

3. Bill Clinton: A born charmer with Southern roots who is not afraid to cry. He is a supremely confident, decisive leader. And he has supremely sexy hands.

2. George Clooney: He appreciates the finer things in life (including his villa on the shores of Lake Como), and he is strongly bonded with and loyal to a cadre of male friends. His timeless image has allowed him to rise from B-sitcoms to box-office hits, some of which he’s directed and/or produced.

1. Bono: He's global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate, and he commands a huge base of followers who are fans of his music—and his humanitarianism. Is it any wonder rumors are swirling about a Nobel Peace Prize?

Does anyone agree with this list?!?!?!? Who picked these people!?!?!??!?!? BILL CLINTON?!?!?!?! Did they really pick BILL CLINTON with a straight face??!?!?!?

Pierce, Ewan, Clooney and Bono, ok.....I get. (Sorta) But the rest of this cockamamie list????

Kiss my recently spanked ASS!

Blondage Forum, Issue One

The first edition of Blondage Forum is dedicated to the wounded PervRep commenter formerly known as HPF, my dear woozy Nipples....errr...I mean Scar. Yes, I meant to say Scar. Really I did. *giggling*

After driving myself batty for a week, trying to pick three stories for my first "Forum" issue, I finally just said screw it. I did an eeny meeny miney mo. I HAD too. My lovely Flowers just sent me waaaay too many hot stories to choose from.

Soooo....in case you missed the earlier conversations on the topic....people email me stories, and I LOVE it. I have asked permission to post the stories here. Some said yes, some shot me down. I still love you anyway. *grin*

If you'd like to send me a story, and it can be about any naughty topic at all, I would love to read it. If you'd like for it to be in a future edition of the Forum, you may be anonymous or take credit, whatever you like.

From time to time, I may even slip in a story of my own if I write something I'd rather post anonymously. *wicked grin* This is going to be fun!

So this week.....a bit of cybering, a man who allows his wife to cheat and gets off on it, and anal sex.....by phone.

Enjoy!

A conversation, by an anonymous female Flower

She called me “thick headed” yesterday.

And it’s true you know. :)

Thick???????? Ohmygod. THICK????? I just had a mental orgasm.

mmmmmhmmmmm.

Whoa.

mmmmmhmmmmm...you like?

Uhmmm. Yes. Thickness is a verrrrrry good thing. Damn. I’m having another mental orgasm.

Glad you approve. Want me to fill you up with it?

Yes. Yes I do.

I'm going to make you repeat that to me, just at the right time... you know that don't you?

Yes, I understand. Oh my God. I can’t stop squirming.

Good. Just so you realize that.

God. You are killing me today. I suppose that is the point though huh. Revenge for yesterday.

mmmmmmm……Yes, quite the point. When the time comes, I'll get you super heated up with my tongue, lips, fingers and hands, just to the point of you cumming... then I'll open you up, put my hard cock right against your hot wet pussy and make you beg...

Ohmygod. I am never going to survive this day. You ALREADY have me heated up, but the "multi-tasking" sounds fucking amazing. I need you inside me SO BAD.

You’re going to have to do better than that I’m afraid.

Better? I’m already whimpering and panting. Better?

I want begging, pleading, pouting, all the while explaining to me why such a nasty little girl as you deserves my cock...

Oh my god.

mmmmmmm And I’ll thrust my hips slightly, so the big head goes in slightly… Do you want that? hmmmmm??? Tell me you want my cock.

Yes damnit. Give it to me. Now. I need you inside me. Now! NOW!

mmmmmmm. I’ll move over you, holding myself up with my arms…you are so fucking wet.

I am so close to cumming.

I’ll hover over you, flex my ass a few times so that you can feel my hard cock move…and slam inside you.

Oh my god. My meeting is about to start.

During your meeting, you are going to imagine me, pumping deep inside you, filling your tight wet pussy, pumping until you cum hard, all over my cock.

I am so getting even with you later for this.

Looking forward to it Sexy. ;)


A reader allows his wife do his friend.....by an anonymous Flower....

Blondage in email to anonymous Flower: Wow. You let your wife do someone else?

Anonymous Flower in email to Blondage: I allowed her to experiment with a friend of ours and she ended up fucking him four times I know of. But, her insecurities don't allow her to extend me the same privilage and I have pretty much respected that and not pushed the point, but behind the scenes there were those two instances. Boy, you are sucking the information out of me. Were you a physcology major? I just fell like telling you things....

Blondage in email to anonymous Flower: Well, I was a psychology major for about five minutes. *grin* I'd love to hear the rest of the story if you care to share.

Anonymous shares his story:

I let her because as you can imagine, the sex afterward was unbelievable! She had gone out with him once before we were married and you could tell they both wanted to fuck so when we got to talking about it she said she wanted him. He was, and is now, a good friend of mine. We even hunt in the same club.

We would invite him and few others over and get to drinking and maybe watch a little dirty movie, but it took a couple of visits for them to hit it off. I was drunk off my ass and left them in the living room while I went to bed. I knew what would happen, but i went to bed anyway. Drunk as I was, I still stayed awake and listened as much as i could and even masturbated when I could hear them getting into some heavy petting. Then I heard the coach creaking and sounded like foot steps on the floor and then the bean bags being moved around. As I found out later, that is where they fucked at. She was using a technique we used where she would use the bean bag to get her hips up and open her pussy for better access.

It didn't last too long though because within about thirty minutes I heard him leave and she came to bed. I acted asleep and let her wake me up and she started grabbing me and my dick, which was hard to hide! She wispered in my ear that she had just fucked our friend and wanted more. I bet we fucked as hard as we ever had and for God only knows how long! She was so into it all moaning a groaning and begging me to fuck her harder. Her pussy was so wet that it was like swimming in an olympic pool, (she is normaly very tight around me). We both came really hard and didn't talk much more about it that night.

I had to go to work the next morning and as the fog of the events and alcohol wore off I began to think about what had happened and had a sense of regret, but then again a sense of excitment and taboo that was so erotic. I wanted to tell someone, but that is not just something you walk up to someone in the Bible Belt and blurt out "Hey, I let my wife fuck my best friend last night and my dick is still hard!"

Power of words.....by an anonymous couple

She waited by the phone. Within five minutes, the call came.

"Where do you want my tongue? In your pussy....or in your ass?"

Wow. A man who doesn't mince words when given the chance. She liked that, and played right along.

"Can I have it both places?"

"You can have anything you want."

"I'd like a big cock inside me too."

"Well, before I give you this big cock of mine, I'm going to have to taste that pussy. Open your legs for me baby. My face is coming down, down, onto those sweet, pink pussy lips."

She spread her legs as he spoke. She could already feel herself totally relaxing in to the fantasy. She was already wet.

"Now that you are nice and open, let me pull apart those pink pussy lips and look at that juicy pussy. My tongue is tasting you. Is it nice and wet? Yes, it is isn't it? As juicy as it can be."

She slipped her finger inside her panties, and rubbed around the rim of her juicy opening, wetting her fingers. She slipped a finger inside herself, and began to masturbate.

"My tongue is working it's way to your pussy. I'm gonna fuck it with my tongue. I'm at the rim, licking the juice out of it. Now I'm pressing inside deeper. My tongue is all the way in that hot pussy. You taste so good baby. You smell so sweet. I love your pussy. But now I need to taste your ass."

She gasped, completely lost in the sound of his voice, the feel of her fingers, the pounding of her heart.

"I turn you over, and kiss your lovely ass. I kiss the flesh of your asscheeks until my mouth can't wait and I run my tongue down the crack of it. I'm licking the crack of your ass, up and down. Press it against me baby. Press it to my mouth. Give it up now. You feel yourself opening. Can I did in to you with my tongue? Can I open you with my fingers while I tongue you?"

By now, she was beside herself with lust. She had two fingers inside her pussy, and slowly began to ease one inside her ass, slipping her fingers in and out, in and out.

"I hear you like to get fucked up the ass. I hear you like to feel a big, fat, thick, hard pole sliping in and out of that tight little asshole. So that's what I'm going to do next. I'm going to fuck you. First, I'm gonna put my cock in your wet pussy, get it nice and slippery, oh yes, here we go. Oh you are so wet, so juicy, my cock is sliding in so deep and so far...I don't want to stop. I don't want to pull out, but your ass is begging for me. So I'll just pull out slow and then rim your ass with the head of my cock; it's so juicy now, just rubbing against the rim. And then I'll have to fuck your pussy again, collect more juice. So in I go, slipping deep inside, and then out, knocking on your back door, then back to your pussy again. Back and forth, until your ass is so well lubed that I can slip inside. Are you ready baby? Are you ready for my big dick?"

"Yes......yes....."

She was on her hands and knees now, her as up in the air. She was waiting for the big plunge to rip in to her. She had him on speakerphone now, and was focusing her energy on furiously rubbing her clit.

"Now the head of my dick is knocking at your back door, nice and hard baby. It's at the back door, pressing in, going deep, getting in there. My knob is widening the path for the rest of this big dick that I am going to give you. Let me press inside baby. Let me fuck your ass now. I feel myself sliding in, all the way in. There's so much pressure, you're so tight baby. I keep pushing until you take it all. I fuck you, up and down, pressing all my hot dick deep inside you until I feel I am going to burst. I gotta feel you cuming while I spurt deep inside your ass. Let me feel you cum. I reach around and rub your clit. I'm pumping and rubbing you. I know hot to finish you off. I'll play with your nipples, nice and rough, while I rub your clit and fuck your ass. You feel how deep I am inside you baby? You feel how deep? Are you ready to cum for me baby? Cum for me NOW!"

His voice faded in to the distance as she felt a major orgasmic trmor rock through her body. It was so wild that her ass was bucking up in the air. She was rubbing her clit so har that her arm and fingers were getting cramped, but her fingers rode her clit until the waves of the orgasm washed over her, sending tiny thrills up and down her groin, her legs and across her belly. She collapsed on to the bed.

"Wow."

She heard him chuckle.

"Thank you."

She heard him laugh that evil laugh once more, and then the phone clicked and went dead. She curled on to her side, and fell in to a dreamless sleep.

Earth Roosters....calling all Earth Roosters

Ok, starting new haloscan thread.

I follow directions rather well. It's the sub in me ya know.

*giggling*

Bored. To. Death.

Sheesh.

Nipples...errr....I mean Scar is cracked out on vicodan and asleep.

BBF is off actually working.

Other playmates are out of town and/or missing in action.

There's crickets chirping in my normally hopping email box.

*pout*

WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE!!!!!!!

*sigh*

I wish I could surf porn at work.

Official announcement, Part Deux

Due to an attack by a very naughty 23 pound beagle, Nipples, the character formerly known as HPF, will no longer be referred to as Nipples on PervRep.

He shall hence forth be referred to as "Scar".

Management thinks ten stitches is a hell of a thing to do to one's self in order to get out of a nickname.

Thank you,
The Management

Official announcement

BBF (Blondage's Best Friend) hath decreed it, and so it shall be.

From hence forth, HPF (Hawwt Perverted Friend) will be referred to as "Nipples".

Thank you,

The Management.

A peek inside my toybox #1

I was trying to take a picture of our latex flogger, a leather crop, and other assorted yummies, but Blondage Kitty interfered.

I guess Blondage Kitty is a pervert too.

A peek inside my toybox....#2

My very very favorite......mmmMMMmmm.......leather and furrrrrrrr.............

A peek inside my toybox #3

A couple of my collars....the smaller one is satin....the longer one is wonderfully soft leather....


mmmMMMmmm.....my favorite flogger.....it is leather...several feet long and has a purple suede handle....

Bored at work?

I have presents.

*grin*

This is stuff I used to play with before I had my Flowers to distract me.

Warning -- these things are addictive!!!

Can you fly a helicopter? Try it. Click on the helicopter, hold the left mouse key down to go up and release the key to go down. It's not as easy as it seems. You need to keep the helicopter from touching the green.

Ah, this one is a stress reliever - and ecologically responsible, too.
Bubbles!!!!
P.S. Be sure to push manic button. Woo hoo!

Drunk guy fun. Click on “Play Hangover” or “Play Homerun”. On homerun, every time the drunk guy yells "Come on baybee Come over heyah" I picture Nate and Will. LOL!

NEW TOY!!!!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!

I have to have to have to get over this being sick thing FAST.

Sex Machine bought me the most divine looking vibe I have EVER SEEN.

*pant*pant*pant*

Must take more vitamin C....and B.......and drink my entire bottle of cough medicine with vicodan in it (ok maybe not!)........and not miss a single anti-biotic....

Must. Get. Better.

Must. Get. Better.

Must. Get. Better.

I'm getting my ass to bed Flowers!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Cumming soon....

Damn. I have a lot of stuff I am working on right now.

Ever do that to yourself -- you have a million things you're working on constantly, but you never finish anything?

That's me and the blog right now.

I hate being sick.

Soooo......as soon as I can focus:

- Issue Number 1 of "Blondage Forum" (I promise, I swear, some time this week!!)

- New naughty audio post once I can speak without croaking like a frog. On second thought, it would be rather comical to croak out words like pussy and cock right now. Hmmmm.....maybe I'll do it just to make us all laugh? We'll see. *grin*

- New position of the week post (I may even go political this time, are you shocked?)

- Something I am really excited about - I've been talking to an author (a fellow blogger! woo hoo!) who has written a great book that I want you guys to check out. The book has already picked up a cult following from it's website. The author has come up with a kick ass marketing strategy (though that seems too conventional of a term to use for his plan, you'll see what I mean soon). More on this once I can form more than one coherent sentence in a row per hour.

Thanks again for all the get well soon wishes. I love my pretty pretty Flowers!

The Blonde hath risen from the dead....

We now return you to our regularly sceduled programming.

......The Management

Lost my mind

I'm soooooo sick today. Been getting there for the last couple days, but today.....ugh. I'm worse.

And here I am....crawling to the computer......to announce to my pretty pretty Flowers.....that I am puny and unable to play much today....when I should just keep my ass in bed.

So I'm sick in the head too.

*whimper*

I need drugs.

*crawls back to bed*

I Could Lose My Job For This!

Oh Flowers, I know I could lose my job, but I have to tell you.

It's such a boring day at work, the Sex Machine came to keep me company. He knows I have on my leather thong and bra with the cut out nipples.

I was trying to get Livey to help me with my comments but Sex Machine kept groping me. I was getting so moist, I almost slid out of my chair.

I couldn't stand it anymore when Sex Machine whipped out the riding crop. He pushed up my skirt, bent me over the desk, and gave me the whipping I deserved. I thought he'd never stop as I felt a wetness run down my leg.

He picked me up and sat me on the desk, then teased me with his tongue. I reached for his hair, got two handfulls and almost pulled it out.

I thought we were being quiet, but when he rammed that love tool into me I screamed. Just then my boss came charging through the door to see what was wrong.

Sex Machine told her she was next in his sexy, husky voice. My boss charged at us, lifted up her skirt and bent over! His swollen member seemed to move in her direction, while never missing a lick on my oh so dripping honey pot.

My boss bent over in front of him and he rode her like a stallion, all the while lapping at me like a horse at trough.

After we switched positions several times.....


I woke up dammit!

(by the way, my naughty guardian angel wrote this, not me!!! LOL!!!! -b)

HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!!!!!!!! LIVEY! SOS!!!!!!!!!!

LIVEY!!!! Help me!!!! I can't figure out where to paste the code to keep my blogger comments!!!! HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

apologies....

My crazy work schedule is seriously interfering with my Forum post.

Yargh.

LOL!

I got a search engine hit today for "adult nasty birthday suits". WTF?!?!?!?

And wait until you hear who did it!!!

bia.edu ? (Educational)
IP Address (number delete) # (U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs)
ISP U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs

Location:
New Mexico
City:
Albuquerque

Referring URL
http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?q=adult
Search Engine
search.msn.com
Search Words
adult nasty birthday suits

Visit Number
14,696

** UPDATE **
Just got another search engine hit from someone else for "Perverted Threesomes"! LOL! God I love Site Meter.....

**UPDATE #2 **
Oh good grief. I just got another one for "Odd shaped pussy lips".

Speechless.

Happy Book Release Day!!!!!!!

I respectfully, with pleading eyes and on bended knees request that all of my Flowers BUY. THIS. BOOK.

*grin*

It really is fantastic.

I was joking around in the "comments" on my review of the book (scroll down a bit) about offering my ass up for spankings to Flowers with proof of purchase of the book (but remember, no spanking me WITH the book, that's downright disrespectful).


The idea has really grown on me.......so who's first?


** Update** The fabulous Sagacious Blonde posted a link on her site today to an NPR interview with CB . He comes on around 16:30. Great interview!!!!!!!

Men!

I was just walking around the grounds where I work.

I noticed a lost looking gentleman.

I called out to him, asked him if he needed help.

He nodded.

I walked over to him and started making polite conversation.

I gave him directions.

I resisted the urge to bonk him on the head.

I swear, his eyes didn't leave my chest ONCE. Seriously! Not ONCE!

OMG!

Hmmmmm.

Shamelessly pilfered from The Great Shorty Mac.......

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

*whimper*

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

My darling blogson distracted me and made me five minutes late to my date with my trainer. The Wee General made me pay for it big time. I did so many crunches that I can barely breathe!
Seriously! It hurts to breathe!!!!!!!

Have you guys ever done stomache using an exercise ball? She has me get on the floor, hold the ball between my ankles, and raise and lower my legs. Normally I do three sets. I had to do six. SIX!!!! Plus six sets of regular crunches, six sets of bench crunches, and three sets of twists (where you hold basically a broom handle and twist). She basically doubled everything. I thought I was going to hurl.

Mind you, this was AFTER working out legs for an hour and a half!!!!!

Land Warrior, I am sooooo spanking your ass.

Well, when I can breathe again.

*whimper*

I need a vicodan.

Birth announcement

I have a new blogson. Please go wish Land Warrior well! He is nice and pervy! Woo hoo!!!!

Format question for "The Forum"

On the new "Blondage Forum" feature, would you prefer to have the stories in an issue to have a common theme (threesomes, BDSM, hot general encounters, phone sex, etc) or would you rather have a variety of topics in each issue?

Let me know what you think, my lovelies!

Question from a Flower

I had a part of this posted yesterday.

One of my darling Flowers sent me a question.

"What was your best, absolute best sexual experience?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that, because I have been fortunate to have had lots of wonderful experiences....

But I figured out the answer last night, shortly after having been molested by Sex Machine for an hour or so.

It hasn't happened yet.

My sex life with Sex Machine keeps getting better and better and better.....and just when I think it couldn't possibly get better it does!

So there ya have it.

:)

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude!!!!

Holy merde! What the heck are you thinking?!?!?!? Go legislate something you perv!

From my site meter:

house.gov ? (United States Government)

IP Address (deleted by blondage).# (Information Systems, U.S. House of Representatives)

ISP Information Systems, U.S. House of Representatives
Location Continent :
North America

Country :
United States (Facts)

State :
District of Columbia

City :
Washington

Lat/Long :
38.8933, -77.0146 (Map)

Keeping CBFTW on top

'cause I like him there so much. *innocent smile* New posts will appear below him...mmmMMMmmm...*slaps hand*

Bad girl.

My War, by Colby "CBFTW" Buzzell

Ya know what Flowers?

I thought I could do a "straight", completely serious book review on Perv Rep.

I agonized. I obsessed. I tried. I swear I did.

But it JUST. DIDN'T. WORK.

I just have to be me. *grin* So here we go.....a book review, Blondage-style. Part playful, a bit flirty, with some serious thrown in here and there. ;)

First of all....the cover is fierce. Powerful. Striking. As in, stop-a-girl-in-her-tracks kind of striking. If I bought books based just on cover design, I'd be buying this one by the crate and papering the walls of my office with it.

Heck. Maybe I'll do that anyway.

*grin*

Reading CB's book reminded me of going in to "subspace". Intense and scary, and, at times, completely and utterly mindblowing....it sent my endorphins firing...gave me a total adrenaline rush. By the time I finished the book I was so stunned, shell-shocked and floaty that Other Half was teasing me about having a new boyfriend.

Just. Plain. Dayum.

Before I go on, I must make one thing absolutely clear. You need not have read his blog or know his "story" in order to get in to this book. CB's book is laid out chronologically -- starting with how he decided to join the military, moving in to recruitment and boot camp, on to Iraq, how his extraordinary blog began and went dark, and through his plane ride home. The blog posts included in the book hop around a bit "date-wise", but in a way that enriched the stories he was telling. Everything is woven together seamlessly. The book has a great flow to it.

For those as yet uninitiated, Colby's writing style is unique. I've always thought it feels as if he is having a conversation with you instead of typing something for you to read. I've heard several people call it "stream of consciousness" style. CB gets compared to Hunter S. Thompson a lot. I can understand the comparison, but truly, his writing is just not like anyone else's. Raw and emotional, but in a controlled way that is hard to describe and do justice to it.

CB is sarcastic, funny, honest, brave as hell and a total bad ass. He may seem at the start off the book as sort of an "everyman", but hold on to your hat. Human, yes. But "everyman", HELL NO (and I mean that as the highest possible compliment).

I don't want to give too many details away, especially for those of you who were lucky enough to have read his blog "live" like me when he was in Iraq. His other early followers will learn plenty of new things about him and what he went through; the very things our brave men and women continue to through. The descriptions of the guerilla style warfare he fought against will make you feel like you are riding a runaway damn roller coaster. (And yes, for my fellow original blogreaders of his who keep asking me, "Men in Black" is in the book.)

We still have soldiers far from home, fighting hard, getting hurt, dying for our freedom. This book will give you a strong mental picture of what they have gone through and are continuing to go through.

I know the majority of my readers already have the utmost respect for our soldiers and what they sacrifice for us back here at home...but there are some clueless individuals out there ya know.

I want to put forth an idea that actually originated from Colby to you, my dear Flowers.

First, buy the book and read it. You will thank me. Trust me.

After you finish reading your copy, find someone who would never in a million years buy a book written by a soldier at war. Someone perhaps hostile to our military, with little to no understanding of what our soldiers go through (I chose a goofy, loopy cousin -- doesn't every family have a least one?). Loan it to them. Dare them to read it and not be changed by it. And no, you ninnies, I am not singling out any particular political party. There's goofy loopies on all sides of the aisle.

If even a small percentage of the goofy loopies we loan or give our copies to grasp it and begin the "deprogramming" process.....how extraordinary would that be?

I truly believe that will be Colby's legacy.

And hey, if you're lucky, you may get to experience a bit of subspace too. ;)

BUY. THIS. BOOK.

New feature -- "Blondage Forum"

I get these kick ass emails all the time from Flowers who feel like spillin' their naughty secrets to lil' ole me. I love love love those stories.....so I got to thinkin'.....if I love 'em, I bet my Flowers would too!

Good golly. When I am tired, my Texas drawl gets thicker. Apparently I start typing with a thicker accent too! LOL!

Speaking of my voice, if you missed my pervy audio post, you can hear it here. Remember, it is NOT WORK FRIENDLY! I promise I will get around to doing another one of those soon.

Back to the subject at hand...the Forum....

I decided (with each Flowers' permission of course) to post them a la "Penthouse Forum".

Issue number one coming soon.

If you'd like to contribute, email me, you naughty pervs! You can be anonymous, take credit, or make up a nickname. Whatever suits ya!

Merde! What a day.

I got taunted by the ghost that inhabits our administrative building, so I think that counts officially as my second ghostie experience. Coulda lived without that one. *shiver* At least I know something about this creepy-crawly. His name is Chris. He is a prankster who I believe actually died where I work (is that the same guy BBF or I am thinking of the N.P. ghostie with the funky laugh?). He stomps around, moves stuff, knocks stuff around... I HATE going in there by myself at night because I always get that creepy "I'm being watched" feeling. He was making so much racket tonight that I practically ran out of there. I am sure he was vastly amused, the darn rascal.

I've been ass-aulted by the Sex Machine for at least the last hour. Boys are icky.

And speaking of icky, I have a brand spankin' new hickey (oh if you could hear me cursing right now) courtesy of Sex Machine. Boy is he ever in the dog house. At least this one is slightly less conspicuous than the last two he gave me (where you could see them. hehehehehee).

Since life seems to be repeating itself, I think I'll play with the battle cry machine all day Monday.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Who is that, rampaging along the mountains! It is Blondage, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! She screams gutterally: "For the love of beatings, I bring darkness and mayhem with reckless abandon!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

My real first and middle name comes up with this one:

Hark! Who is that, rampaging over the steppes! It is (Name deleted), hands clutching a studded crowbar! She cries gutterally:
"Hail the blood-letting! I desecrate like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage!"

LMAO!!!! That is sooooooo ME!

Hope you had a lovely weekend Flowers.

Reason number 5,000,001 I love my husband

.....phone rings.....

Blondage: HONEY!

Sex Machine: Hello Buttercup

Blondage: *giggles*

Sex Machine: How is your day going Sugar Lips?

Blondage: *laughs harder* What's with the nicknames?

Sex Machine: I don't know what you are talking about Sweet Cheeks.

Blondage: Why am I suddenly feeling like you did something naughty?

Sex Machine: *laughs*

Blondage: Should I sit down? Say a prayer? Buy some garlic?

Sex Machine: No, my sexy little wife. I'm just missing you today.

A lesson in threesomes

If you've read me for a while, you have probably realized I am:
A. a bit of a nympho
B. curious about....well, pretty much everything
C. I talk about or think about sex pretty much all the time.

I was talking to this very interesting fellow yesterday. He's like me.....times a hundred.

*giggling*

We were discussing male/male/female threesomes.

I've always thought they were just a porn thing. I mean really, how do talk your man in to it in the first place, and then once you do, how in the heck do you find another guy willing to do it?!

My friend gave me "The Secret".

Are you ready for this Flowers?

First. As far as talking your partner in to it, you're kinda on your own there. But if you are able....

Go away for several days, preferably including some "week" days in your trip. Stay in a nice hotel, perhaps in a downtown area. Hang out at the hotel bar in the evenings. Look for, as my friend so eloquently put it, "businessman prey". LOL! Have some sort of signal between the two of you to note thumbs up or thumbs down. Talk to your prey, quiz him, feel out if he is, as my friend put it, "your second cock". (I am soooooo blushing as I type this by the way!) The prey has no idea what you are doing until they are "selected". If you decide you don't both approve, toss him aside and go hunting again.

My friend swears businessmen fantasize about these kinds of encounters, and that they will be just as nervous and excited as you. This apparently adds to the general excitement.

If you get a "good one" for the first night, he might be available the next night or two. Then when you are done with him, everyone goes their seperate ways, and no one in your real life ever knows what you've been up to.

Hmmmm.....makes sense.

I hope we all learned something today.