Please?

Sometimes....when I am angry and out of control....

A good Whupin' can right all the world's wrongs....

I was soooooo angry today. Mad at almost everyone in my life. God knows why. Some frustrations were legitimate I suppose (quit trying to meet me, and quit falling in love with me you ninnies!)and some more on the irrational side (didn't like the way someone said goodbye, and I totally wigged).

It's weird, being on this fertility medicine. Some days, I feel completely balanced.... And then.... BAM! I wake up wanting to scream at various people in my life, or in some cases, bitchslap the fools. It's like a filter is missing....the patience filter perhaps. I dunno what it is.

But.....

I feel the slap of his hand on my bare skin.....

And I calm down.

No matter how out of control I feel, no matter how insane my drugs make me feel....

That sting....the stern voice, the firm hand....he centers me.

And I can cope.

That being said...I am warnin' ya, my pretty little Flowers.... Watch your asses, because in between spankings? I am hell on heels right now.

The Cat's away, and the mouse needs a spanking...

I don't really expect you to understand....

Sometimes, I NEED to feel a collar around my neck.



Sometimes, I NEED to feel owned, controlled, manipulated...

Powerless, without a say in what is going to happen to me...

It's almost....primal.

I'm totally pouting today.

Hub is out of town for the next four days.

You know how when you don't have sex for a while, your body throbs in certain delicious places....?

This may sound odd to those of you who are not in to D/s (Domination and submission, for the uninformed)....

....but when I don't get spankings frequently enough...

*whimper*

Basically, in addition to the parts that would normally throb if I craved sex, my ASS throbs, desperate for the feel of a sharp hand slap or a swift paddle....

*sigh*

There's this....release. Reaction. Thing. Feeling. I don't know what to call it.

It takes over my body and mind when I get a long, hard, intense spanking.

Really, it happens with any real sort of "discipline", but it is definitely a stronger feeling if the pain is swift, sharp and extended.

I NEED the pain.

And no, I'm not talking about subspace. That's waaaaay further off the cliff.

I'm not talking about an orgasm either, though damn it is great if you're being fingered and spanked at the same time.....and you FINALLY get permission to cum.....*purrrrr*....

...and don't even get me started on my need for a really good "Mind fuck".



I don't understand why I crave the hard-to-describe release that comes from Bondage and Discipline (and especially, the Mind Fuck). To be honest, I quit trying to figure it out years and years ago. I just know the feeling, when it comes, and good gawd does it ever come often (and hey, who doesn't like to come often! LOL), it completely takes over my mind and body. I get this weird sort of tunnel vision.....and it's ALL I can think about until the need is satisfied.

Which, in the case.....will be at least FOUR FRIKKING DAYS FROM NOW.

Woe is me Flowers. Woe is me.

Yes, I'm a brat.

Muscles called me a few hours ago and asked me to log in to his My Space page to take his psycho ex off his top friends.

Uhm....hello? What was he thinking!!!!! Seriously!!!!!

I immediately began contemplating the possibilities.

Instead of a straight body builder, should he become gay and "more to love"?

Should I change his background from pics of his motor-cycle to something pink and girly?

Maybe I should change his nickname to Tinkerbell?

Ohhhhhh the possibilities are endless.

Lunch time arrived, so I scampered off to eat with my best friend Cougar.

I told her about having Muscles' keys to his My Space castle , and we discussed the potential fall out of my impish intentions.

Cougar: Speaking of Muscles....Friday he was telling me alllll about your 'sexy voice'.

Blondage: *blink* .................? *blink blink blink* .....................?!?!?!?

Cougar: Uh huh. *arches a brow*

Blondage: What the hell did he say?!?!

Cougar: "Has Blondage done her sexy voice for you?"

Blondage: Ack! What did you say??? *laughing*

Cougar: "Uhhh no, I'm a girl."

Blondage: And then what! Tell me! *laughing harder*

Cougar: "Ohhhh she's got this really great sexy voice. You gotta get her to do it for you. She purrs and everything."

Blondage: It was innocent! I swear!!!!

Cougar: Uh huh.

Blondage: No really! I don't remember what we were talking about, it was perfectly innocent, but I said something like "Oh yeah" in some way he loved, and he is always asking me to do it again. I don't do it though!

Cougar: Uhhh huhhhh. Suuuuuure.

Sooooo.....I made up my mind. I was doing something, because I wanted a bit of revenge. *evil laugh*

So, my darling Flowers. I MOSTLY behaved myself. He remains a straight body builder with a motorcycle background.....but his profile picture has changed. It is now a picture of him sporting a Hello Kitty backpack.

I know. I rule.

So, of course, I couldn't STAND him not knowing, so I sent him a text.

"I didn't make you 'gay' on your My Space page.... And I didn't change your background to Strawberry Shortcake and rainbows... But I maaaaaaay have uploaded the Hello Kitty backpack pic and made it your profile picture."

Approximately thirty seconds later, My Precious rings.

Muscles: You did WHAT?!?!!?

Blondage: *howls* It could have been much, much worse ya know.

Muscles: *growls*

We play fought for a while, and I basically talked him in to letting me keep Hello Kitty up until tomorrow. THEN! I remember the conversation with Cougar.

Blondage: By the way, you deserved this as REVENGE!

Muscles: *sounds all innocent* What did I do?

Blondage: Cougar told me about your conversation about my SEXY VOICE.

Muscles: Yeah, I told her I can't stand up when you sound like that.

Blondage: *shriek*

Muscles: Well it's true. You sound all purry.

Blondage: NOT ON PURPOSE!

Muscles: Do it again. Make that sound!

Blondage: No! No no NO!!!!!!!!

He teases me mercilously, we laugh a lot, and hang up. I called Cougar immediately and relayed the conversation.

And then....I had an idea.

Blondage: Wanna be one of his My Space friends?

Cougar: *shrieks* YES!!!!!!

So I added her to his friends....we hung up....I called her back a little later.

Cougar: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blondage: What on earth is wrong?

Cougar: His NIPPLES! OMG his NIPPLES! He looks like a nursing mother! Make it go away. MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Flowers.....I don't think I have EVER laughed this hard this much in one day.

Last weekend...

...my Mother shrieked like a banshee when she saw my hair.

I'm not kidding.

Hmmmm.....

On second thought, perhaps I should leave it this way.

I'm such a rotten child.

I think I deserve a spanking.

*evil grin*