Have you ever...

...gone to a giant staff party...

...where you are one of five full time people present in a room of several hundred part time people that the party is honoring....

...so you help bartend because one of your best friends on the staff is helping out already and you want to play with her 'cause she's cool...

...and apparently you proceed to drink more margaritas than you serve...

...which results in you becoming rather blitzed...

...and the crowd includes five of your part time employees who can't stop telling you what a cute drunk you are...

...and then you tell your other favorite girlfriend how fascinated you are with a security supervisor's muscles...

...and she calls him over, has him flex for you, and you nearly pass out...

...and you proceed to tell them both about your naughty blog and how to find it via a google search (Greetings R and J, R - I may never be able to look you and K in the eye again...)...

...and the party ends, and you tell some guy's wife, whom you have never met before, that J (aka, Muscles), flexed and you nearly passed out...

...then you stagger out to the parking lot where R harasses you without mercy about the multiple-mentioned-muscle-fascination...

...and she calls Muscles over and tells him to walk you to your car...

...and you talk to Muscles for a long time about the naughty blog, his "real job" adventures (oh my...he should write a naughty blog too...), probably mention his muscles a time or two because you have lost some sort of filter that prevents you from saying whatever pops in to your wittle blonde head, and thankfully sober up a bit because it is COLD...

...so you drive home, call a poisonous Flower on the way home because he lives two hours behind you, probably mention alcohol and muscles a LOT...

(Henbane darlin', the details of the conversation are just between us, ok? Well, actually they aren't, because I can't really remember them, but you know what I mean...)

...so you get home, CHECK THE BLOG FOR NEW COMMENTS BECAUSE YOU ARE AN OBSESSED FREAK and send a couple drunken emails...

...crawl in to bed and wake up your husband a mere two and a half hours before his alarm goes off for work...

...so when he gets out of bed, he makes noise and turns a light on for revenge...

...and you wake up, moan, and suddenly realize you feel woozy and dehydrated...

...so you crawl in to the bathroom to splash water in your face...

...you happen to catch your reflection in the mirror...

...and shriek WTF is that in my HAIR??!?!?!?

...then you crawl down the stairs for gatorade and aspirin...

...and the computer calls to you, because you are insane...

AND YOU FRIKKIN WRITE THIS BLOG POST!

*groooaaaan*

Not sure I can finish Part III of the new naughty story today, darling Flowers. I may be in bed with a cold compress over my eyes most of the day. Thank god I'm on vacation. Ugh.

...bad pain...baaaaaad pain......

*whimper*