*sheepish grin*

Hello, my pretty pretty Flowers.

I apologize for neglecting you as of late.

Though my absence is primarily due to work, I can blame the last four days on my husband.

He finally talked me in to reading his Terry Goodkind books. OMG. Have you guys read them? I have plowed through the first two books in four days. Those books are enormous. The second one alone was 979 pages.

I have a migraine. My vision is blurry. But I am starting that third one tonight damnit!

I promise to resurface for HNT. LOL!

I hope you all had a nice weekend. :)

TGIF Gratuitous Boobage...

Another shot in the naughty cop costume.

*grin*

Happy Friday everyone!

Happy Halloween Half Nekkid Thursday!

What you see can and will be held against you....if you ask in a way that pleases me...

I heart my Naughty Cop costume. *evil grin*

Now go sneak up on Osbasso and say BOO!!!!

I'm not "Dorkalicious"....

I swear, this is EXACTLY what happens to me when I try to talk to "Muscles":

I was explaining my Friday night Dorkalicious disaster with "Muscles" (which involved me literally falling out of my office chair) to my friend Karl.

After he quoted one of my favorite Cure songs to me...

And she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

...he declared that I am NOT Dorkalicious.

I am "Dork Sexy".

LOL!

And just when I think I can be cool.....

...I morph back in to "Dorkalicious Blonde".

I really should not be allowed to talk to handsome men.

Seriously.

Not ever.

Shit.

Oh my

Muscles sent me this link today that you guys have to check out.

Click here for "Wondercum".

It's a product that promises "sweeter tasting sperm".

Uhmmmm.......

*sheepish smile*

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday....

Well my goodness. I seem to have wandered in to the shower with a tshirt on. However did that happen? *innocent smile*

Now go give Osbasso a nice little pinch on the ass hello!

...Daydreaming...

I circle the head of your cock with my tongue and began to lick your shaft, in long, slow strokes. I circle the sensitive head with the tip of my tongue, planting hot, wet kisses all over your cock.

You're panting. How that makes me smile....

I take the entire length of you into my mouth, being careful not to make contact until I reach the bottom of your shaft. Then, in a sudden movement, I close my lips, draw in my cheeks, press my tongue against you, and completely surround you in the wet, velvety warmth of my mouth.

A soft "oh" escapes your lips. Mmmmmmmm....

I hear your deep, sexy voice urging me to continue. I began moving up and down your cock, exploring you with my tongue.

I'm becoming more aggressive now.

I straddle your leg and begin to grind against you. I move my hand up your body until I find your hand. I want you to run your fingers through my hair, guiding me, controlling my pace.

You pull from my mouth and began rubbing just the head of your cock on my lips and tongue. I purr as I taste the precum pouring out from your cock. I flick the tip of my tongue back and forth along the tip, begging for more.

Fuck my mouth baby. Please.

Mmmmm......you're close. You're bucking your hips, moaning my name. I'm holding on for dear life, enjoying the ride.

You drive into me one final time. Your body releases into mine. As I feel your hot wet cum fill my mouth, I reach between my legs and explode. My orgasm radiates through my entire body. You feel me moan against your cock, and feel my pussy pulse against your leg. I greedily swallow your cum, listening to you roar, feeling you shake as your cock continues to throb inside me....

*dreamy sigh*

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmMUSCLES!

...two days ago...

This ring tone goes off on The Precious...

*Evilicious smiles*

Evie: Hello Muscles

Muscles: *laughs* You always call me that.

Evie: *giggles* It suits you, does it not?

Muscles: *laughs again*

....we chit chat for a while, and then the subject turns to last year's infamous staff party, when I drunkenly disclosed to him that I write a sex blog....

Muscles: You're bartending again this year, right?

Evie: Uhhhhhhhmmmm...I really shouldn't. Ugh.

Muscles: But I like it when you're drunk.

Evie: *deadpan* So does my husband. Ahem.

Muscles: *laughs* Oh yeah.

Evie: Exactly.

Muscles: Well, I still think you should bartend. That was the best staff party ever. *laughs*

Evie: *blushes, cringes, blushes more, gets off phone as quickly as possible*

...fast forward to today...

...I am at work, watching season one of "Prison Break", paying zero attention to the coming and goings surrounding me...

A deep voice in my ear: Is that the show with the guy with the tattoos?

Evie: *squeaks*

Muscles: You're way too easy.

Evie: *arches a brow*

Muscles: I take that back. You're kind of a pain in the ass really.

Evie: Hrmph.

Muscles: Sooo...wanna see MY tattoo? *starts to lift his shirt*

Evie: Gawwwwd yes. *pause* I mean.....NO! No no NO!!!!!!!!

...he looks down at my desk, notices the baby bottle that belongs to my assistant's kitten...

Muscles: If I put that bottle in my mouth, will it make me purr?

Evie: *blink* Uhm...doubtful.

Muscles: *looks me square in the eyes* You make me purr.

Evie: ...........

Fuck you Friday #6

I was in this strange mood when I took my HNT pictures this week. Normally taking them makes me feel rather giddy. Wednesday was quite different. I am not sure if it was because I have been sickly or if it was something else.

The pictures came out so.......moody.

Dark. Very dark. (Insert Dark and Mysterious joke here. heh.)

I am not sure if my mood prompted the pictures or the pictures prompted the mood.

There's a few people that I send pics to each week that I don't post on the blog. I only sent this round to one person. The pics just made me feel so.......naked. Showing things in my face that I don't usually let people see. This is the only hint of that series will ever be seen here on my normally irreverent blog.

I am a naturally happy person. I don't know WTF happened to me this week. It must be hormones?

Sooo.....fuck you to my frikkin body for producing hormones/chemicals/whatever the hell it was that temporarily wrecked my good nature.

And Fuck You Friday the 13th.

I WILL HAVE A GOOD DAY DAMNIT.

Please visit the creators of FYF, MG and Tequila Girl, and give 'em a good spank.

Half Nekkid Thursday....

I'm puny, so tonight, you get Pjays!

Now go give Osbasso a big smoochie hello!

Does this make me a ho?

Someone asked me today if I could list every man I've had sex with. I replied, yes, of course I can! So, on a lark, I started typing out names.

FUCK!

I can't remember the traveling sales dude's name!!!!!!!

He was someone I met on line somewhere. He was traveling to Houston to do a sales pitch to a local college. I think it was software maybe? It's vague.

I was dating a few people, but was not committed to anyone.

We had traded pictures, talked a few times. He was going to be staying in a hotel down town near where I worked at the time. He asked if I wanted to come over. I was horny and alone that night, so I said yes.

Sex with him was better than what I had been used to up until then. He had a nice bod. He was the first man who ever told me I gave him the best blow job of his life.

I still smile when I think about that. ;)

He had really big hands. He liked to have me on my back with my legs scissored straight up in the air. He could wrap one of his giant hands around both of my ankles and hold them up. I thought that was kinda neat.

I faked a couple orgasms, and went home.

Yes, Flowers, I used to have to fake them. That was back before I knew how to have one with male participation......but that is a story for another day.

Back to the topic at hand..... WTF was his name?!?!?! The last time I spoke to him was the night Princess Diana was killed. Think Evie. THINK!

*grumble*

If I can remember the name, does that mean I am NOT a ho though? Or would that just make me a ho with a better memory.

Hmmm.

You see these shackles baby I'm your slave...I'll let you whip me if I misbehave...

That title has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. I just like singing it. LOL
~
Your skin may not be able to contain you now, as it feels like you are ready to shed whatever is holding you back. Like a snake outgrowing its skin, you have moved beyond the teachers and mentors that have brought you this far. But you're not going to escape without first finishing what you've started.

That's my horoscope today. It kind of startled me. I know those things are kinda hokey, but every now and then, BAM! It nails me.

This is the one kind of "getting nailed" that I am not so sure I like.

~
I had a good friend tell me that they were told by their Significant Other that they will probably never want to have sex again. Never. As in, FOREVER, THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, with no sex. I was so stunned and sad for this person. I STILL can't quote grasp the concept. NEVER AGAIN? With someone who like, said vows and stuff? OMG.

~

One of my favorite blogs, 100 Records , has to shut it's doors. Fucking IFPI . *growl*
~
Have you checked out this post yet? If not, you should. It provides the best insight I have ever read in to blogosphere/internet relationships. The author is British, and though I am quite sure you have noticed I have a Brit fetish (EA/Roy (I know he is technically American but he counts!)/Suze/WDKY/The Girl/Rentboy/Pooshie/Dirty Boy and I could go on and on) ignore my perceived bias and go read. Trust me.
~
SJR turned me on to Ken and Ariel. Check them out too. Damn they make me laugh. I think Ken and SJR may have been separated at birth.
~
My girl LL has moved her site to it's own domain name. I want to do that, just so that my email addy can be Evie@eviliciousblonde.com. LOL
~

Today I am listening (and dancing) to Squirrel Nut Zippers. I have "Hell" as a ringer tone on "The Precious". I currently have it assigned to "Muscles" and a religious fanatic friend. I laugh every time it goes off.

~

Speaking of Muscles......damn was he ever taunting me last night. He was picking on my somewhat flakey assistant. He is a lot like me in that everything he says has a deliberate sexual undertone to it, 99% of which is missed by the average person....all of which flew right over my assistant's head. I was cracking up.

He flexed at me again. I squeaked.

Well speak of the devil. I just got an email from him.

How ironical.

~

I haven't written about The Wee General, my ex-trainer/next door neighbor/occasional make out partner in a while. I had this annoying realization that she only calls me when she wants something from me (babysit my kids, get me concert tickets, do you have a spare bottle of wine, come drink with me so I can attack you and confuse you, etc) and it has kinda turned me off lately.

~

Lots of drama at work last night. Multiple firings due to "sticky fingers". Not in my department, thank goodness, but it still weirded me out. Kids are so frikkin stupid.

~
As a thank you for indulging my little all-over-the-map post today, here's a Smurf Boobie pic. LOL! I love photo shop.

Happy Saturday Flowers!

Found a new blog I love.....

A friend turned me on to this post today. I thought the author brilliantly summed up internet relationships.

Go read and absorb, my pretty pretty Flowers.

Happy (more than Half) Nekkid Thursday!

Now go give Osbasso a nice little spank hello!

Ohhhhhhhhhh am I annoyed.

Apparently something is wrong with my blog. So far two people have mentioned pop ups showing up when they visit here. Has this happened to any of you before on your own blogs? What do I do to fix it?

*growl*

Die pop ups die.

Monday. Blah!

I'm feeling chatty. Bored, and chatty.

First......this vid is a little shout out to someone I sent my blog addy to today.



I would soooooooo do Bruce Campbell.....mmmmm....Boomstick....

*giggling*

So where was I.

Oh yes, feeling chatty.

I apologize for neglecting my pretty pretty Flowers lately. Work has been a pain. One more week and things should calm down for a while.

I realized today I have been doing Half Nekkid Thursday pics for almost a year. Crikey. I've only missed twice because of vacation. That is just a little obsessive, dontcha think? LOL

I haven't had sex since Friday. I am feeling a little frantic. I am desperate need of a good hard spanking, followed by a good hard.......something else.

;)