911

We'd had the trip planned for 8 months....a mother/daughter trip to New York. Third time for me, first time for her.

The trip was set for the first weekend of November, 2001.

We almost didn't go. People everywhere were still scared to fly. And holy merde, we were going to NYC around 7 weeks post 911...

But we went, and I will always be glad we did not chicken out.

We took a bus to a park. I cannot remember the name of it - I think it was Battery? It was down the street from WTC. We walked up the street, pausing to look at the "missing" posters walls, poles, etc. We came to a barricade. Policemen were standing there. You could walk up to them and talk to them, and look past them to the destruction. There were blocks and blocks of similar barricades with policemen standing guard. Garbage trucks hauling debris were everywhere. It was still so foggy. You could see the dust on buildings up and down the street. It smelled like burning metal and death. The smell literally made my teeth hurt.

We asked a police officer if there was a firehouse nearby. We explained my grandfather had been a fire chief, and that my mother had grown up in a fire house. They pointed us towards Duane Street.

There were flowers every where. Lots of people were inside, talking to the fire fighters, making donations, dropping off food. An older fire fighter heard us telling a younger fire fighter about my grandpa, and he took a liking to us. We talked to him for over an hour. He walked us all around, let us take a picture with him.... and he showed us the board. The board was a giant dry erase board on the wall. It was a calendar of all of the memorial services for firefighters.

Seeing that board......seeing the twisted metal.....smelling that awful smell....seeing the firefighters in their dress blues either coming from or going to the funerals.... My god it was overwhelming. We cried a lot during that week.

Tonight, I watched the repeat of the 911 documentary filmed by french brothers Jules and Gedeon Naudet on the Duane Street firehouse (one of the brothers filmed the only known footage of the first plane hitting tower one). I think the first time the documentary aired was maybe....2002? Not sure. Anyways.....Mom and I were shocked as hell the first time that documentary aired. We had hung out with five of the firefighters who were featured in the documentary, and been all over that fire house.

Seeing it again, now five years post 911....

Wow.

The gentleman who was so kind to us, the one I mentioned took a liking to us, has since retired. Hearing his story again...

I haven't looked at my pictures of the still smoking WTC and the firemen we met in a loooong time. They aren't exactly something one displays on a wall. I'm glad that I have them, but they are hard to look at.

Tonight, I pulled out my photo album, remembering our time there so clearly, and bawled like a baby.