I heart athletes...

Every night for a week, Other Half and I have been glued to the Olympics.

Here's our ritual.

Sweetpea....err....I mean Other Half....gets home from work first. He turns the heater on (we had snow flakes last night!), feeds the doggie, etc.

I get home about a half hour later if I am not working out with my trainer.

We eat.

We get comfy.

We settle in and cuddle on the couch.......

....and proceed to thoroughly discuss and select which athletes of the evening we most want to see naked.

O.H. is currently really in to J-Rod the speedskater and a Russian Ice Dancer named Tatiana with killer abs. I want Chad Hendricks (he lives like....10-15 minutes from us!) and the same Russian Ice Dancer Tatiana with the killer abs.

*grin*

Something is seriously wrong with us.

Keep me to yourself for a while...

until I have the site redesigned.....

;)

HNT with a couple special guests, in "Stalking Rock McHard"

A merry little threesome (ahem) --

Busty de Lusty, in her HNT debut:

Rock McHard, who has flashed his bod for HNT before:


And a very Sassy Tease:





Rock McHard: *spank*

Sassy Tease: Harder.
*shakes ass*

Rock McHard: *spank spank*
and don't be callin' out no safe word!!!

Sassy Tease: I said HARDER. HARDER DAMNIT!!!!

I don't recall choosing a safe word with you, so.... ;)

Rock Mchard: *SPANK*

Sassy Tease: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yessssssssssss..............

Rock McHard: Be prepared to BOTH get spanked!!!

Sassy Tease: LMAO!!!!!! Busty, you're in trouble now!!!! Woo hoo!

Busty de Lusty: I'm a struggler and fighter...

I think you may need to tie me up first.

*innocently blinks*

Sassy Tease: *high fives the very busty Busty *

Busty de Lusty: *high fives Sassy back*

Sassy Tease: Rock, wanna borrow my cuffs?

*evil grin*

Rock Mchard: nah, I have some leather straps I'll use on the both of you. Don't forget, I've been trained in how to deal with people like you!!!

Busty de Lusty: Ya know.......I bet we could take him........and if we tied HIM up...........oh my, the things we could do.

*wicked grin*

Sassy Tease: I do soooooo love the way your mind works Busty. I have four adjustable cuffs. They should fit his wrists and ankles..........

Yes Busty, I think we could "take" him.

Busty de Lusty: Ok, you play the damsel in distress. Do lots of woe is me shit. Oh, and don't forget to bat your eyes, flip that blonde hair of yours, and WIGGLE THAT ASS!! I'll hide over in the corner and bag him from behind when he tries to take advantage of you!!

Sassy Tease: *spoken in exaggerated southern belle accent*

Heyulp! Heyulp! I need a big, strong handsome marine with a suspicious hair line to rescue me and my heaving bosoms from some terrrrrrible peril!!!!!

Busty de Lusty: Sassy! Don't forget to get yourself all slick with baby oil!! He'll NEVER be able to pin either one of us down.

Sassy Tease: *wets self down, tosses bottle to Busty *
I hope this won't ruin the silk sheets I just put on the bed.

I feel so.....squishy.

Busty de Lusty: *gets own self all slick*

C'mon, big boy, bring it on!

*tries not to look a glistening Sassy across the room*

Note to self: DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT or you'll start giggling!!

Sassy Tease: No eye contact. Yes. Definitely no eye contact. We must be cougars Busty. Sneaky, fast, slippery little cougars stalking our prey. Just don't let yourself be distracted by the glare from the suspicious hairline. Focus Busty. We must focus.

*crouches low, twitches tail*

Busty de Lusty: *slowly circles to the left keeping prey in sight*

*watches Sassy out of corner of eye*

*waits for victim to become distracted by all the blondeness*

Sassy Tease: *whispers* Busty, I think Rock fell asleep!!!!

*flashes Rock, sees no reaction*

Yep, definitely asleep!!! You take the left. I'll take the right.

*casually, quietly slinks across the floor*

Busty de Lusty: *nods and winks and gives the Elvis "hey baby" finger points*

*dips low to the ground*

*sways tail slowly back and forth*

*glides left*

Sassy Tease: *electric slides to the right*

*creep*creep*creep*

*throws Busty the secret signal*

*flexes claws*

*wiggles ass*

....steeeeeadddddy.......annnnnnnnd.....POUNCE!!!!!!!!!!!

Busty de Lusty: *holds back a sec*

*watches Rock struggle to get a grip on Sassy *

*gives a cougar shriek*

*jumps into the fray with the cuffs*

*click*click*click*

*brushes off hands and looks at a stunned Rock while Sassy's bosoms heave and she preens*

Sassy Tease: *sighs happily*
I love it when my bosoms heave.
*steps back, admires handywork*
He looks awfully cute all shackled up, doesn't he? He's wearing too many clothes though. Since he's already cuffed, we have a bit of a dilemma.Hmmm......I think scissors are in order. Try not to squirm too much. I don't want to miss.
wicked grin*
snip*snip*snip*
Oh my.
Girth.

Rock McHard: HEY! Wait a minute!!!!!!!!!!

Busty de Lusty:Bagged and tagged baby! Bagged and tagged!!!!

.....names have been changed to protect the guilty.....

heheheheheeee

For more on the joys of Half Nekkid Thursday, please click the linkie in my side bar to visit the simply divine Osbasso.

xoxoxoxoxo

Coolest Valentine's vase EVER....

It looks like a CORSET! LOL! Does he know me or what?!?!?!?

The back view. I love the corset strings.....

TWG goes off the reservation...

Other Half gets up at 4:30am, so we tend to not go out during the week....despite cheesy ass holidays that I hate like Valentine's Day....

So off I went to the gym to hook up with The Wee General to get my ass kicked.

Which I did.

Ugh.

She told me something that astounded me. Remember how she and her hub are both professional trainers....?

Well.

Guess where they went to dinner tonight after our workout session???

MCDONALDS.

Yes, you read that correctly. They went to MCDONALDS.

Her eyes were all wild like as she informed me that not only was she eating meat (a burger! gasp!) she was having FRIES and a SHAKE!!!!

It was like staring in to the eyes of a crack addict.

It was truly frightening. Somebody hold me!

WEDNESDAY MORNING UPDATE!!!!!!!!
TWG just called me to see if I was still home to see if I had any sprite (we're next door neighbors, remember?). Her hub was up all night throwing his guts up after gourging himself on McDonald's. Something tells me they won't be doing THAT again any time soon. Eeeeew.

Valentine's Day suggestions for men....by a total studmuffin

Me, SJR and LL were having a discussion today about Valentine's Day. Frankly, I kinda hate V-day. Bah-Humbug. Too much pressure. Too many expectations. Blah. I hate it.

Well.....unless I get a reallllllly mushy card, and then I melt. ;)

SJR (he used to write a yummy blog called "In a nutshell") sent this to us, and I thought it might be helpful to you Men. He's got this stuff down to a science.

Read what SJR has to say here, and then click here to visit LL's response.

The secret is for the guy to not make it look like its formulaic, because the bottom line is, guys hate VDay more than girls do. But we are required to perform. We all know this. So we have to come up with something. This works for me :)

Valentines Day. I have learned through years of experience and have a patented formula for it. Why? Because you two being women know that on Valentines Day, if you have a man, that you are expecting something from him. For me, it's way too soon after Christmas to really be able to put any creative energy into it. I mean c'mon, I just spent 2 months trying to decipher what the wife wanted for xmas and coming up with plausible gifts. Come Feb. I'm still recuperating from it. Hence my formula:

SJR's guide to Vday:

A) 1 dozen long stem red roses in a vase, to her place of work. 1 Dozen. Red. Long Stem. Vase. Do not deviate. This accomplishes several things: 1) That you didn't forget and are not a lame ass. 2) Almost every girl in creation swoons over longs stem red roses. Don't give me the BS that you all don't like roses. 3) All the other girls at work see that she got flowers. Huge Bonus Points if they comment on the fact her man is such a sweet guy and their man is a scumbag for not sending them flowers. Validation of her choice of me as a mate.

B) Dinner. Either in or out. I prefer to cook it myself and have it in, but sometimes that isn't feasible, so then you go out to a nice place to eat. It's a plus to have nice casual conversation, especially bringing up things that make you feel good about being a couple and the things that she does that make you smile when you think about her at work. Not a good time to start a fight about money. (I Knooooooooooow this from experience)

C) Card. Present a very nice card with a well-thought out message written inside. Preferably more than two lines. Appropriate to the relationship of course. Not good to give the wife a card that says : "Hey Office Hottie, be my super secret Valentines Day quickie"

D) Chocolate. Old Skool yes. Maybe a bit corny as well. But give her a small box of very good chocolate and you are in. Godiva is a good selection. I also like See's. No Whitmans Samplers or Cherry Cordials. Spend the extra bread.

Anyway, these 4 things combined won't break your bank and will add up to making you look like a fucking champ instead of a chump.

The secret is to make it all seem planned out and thought in advance. But all this can be done in about 4 days in advance. Less than that if you don't go out. Reservations are usually pretty booked on Vday.

One word of advice: do not overdo it. Keep it simple. No proposing on Vday, no giving of lavishly expensive gifts, stay away from that. Because, how the hell you gonna top that next year?

Other Half....calling Other Half....

Buy me one of these and I'll do anything you want.

(No pointing out that I already sorta do that.)

Out with the old, in with the new...

Ya know how I was spazzing about my cell phone -- losing all my numbers, ring tones and pictures?

Well...

I was thinking.

Sometimes it's not so bad to start over.

When I sat down to download new ringers, I started looking for my old ones. I had this little mini-epiphany.

I loved a lot of my ring tones, but there were some that I didn't use any more. Music definitely invokes emotional reactions in me, and there were some ringers that wound up with some bad memories attached to them. I am happy to be rid of those.

I only reloaded one out of over thirty. Not quite ready to let go of that one. ;)

I'll miss my pictures. That part still sucks.

I can get the numbers back that I care about. It's kinda nice to purge some of them from my life actually.

I had fun dowloading tonight. I'm happy with what I have snagged so far:
Close to me -- The Cure
Club Foot -- Kasabian
Get Stoned -- Hinder
Hell -- Squirrel Nut Zippers
La Vie Boheme -- from the musical "Rent"
Numb/Encore -- Linkin Park and Jay-Z
Save Me -- Shinedown
Simple Man -- Shinedown
Under Pressure -- David Bowie/Queen
What I got -- Sublime

I'd keep dowloading tonight but I have a date with Other Half to watch the Olympics. We're total junkies. *grin*

FINALLY!

I have finally received my replacement for my fried little cell phone.

It ate all of my phone numbers.

*pitiful sigh*

If I had yours and you have not already emailed it to me, please send it my way or give me a call....

I lost all my pictures......all THIRTY ringtones I had downloaded.....

I'm a wee bit distraught.

But....at least I am no longer completely cut off. Ugh. That sucked ass (in a BAD way). ;)

Brokeback to the future.....

Oh.

My.

Gawd.

Need a good laugh today? Watch this!

My husband is nuts.

My office phone rings.

Blondage: Hi this is (name deleted)

The Other Half: So how many HNT comments do we have?!?!?!?!

Blondage: *laughs* Something in the 50's last time I checked.

The Other Half: Well??????

Blondage: *giggling* Some people got it. Some were a little confused.

The Other Half: *says in a very naughty, silly voice* So....what were you doing in that picture?

Blondage: *laughs harder* Uh huh.

The Other Half: Love-you-bye.

Blondage: Love-you-bye.

CLICK.

Thirty seconds later, my office phone rings again.

Blondage: Hi this is (name deleted)

The Other Half: *says in an even naughtier, sillier voice* Soooo......what were you doing in that picture?

Blondage: *laughs ass off* You're insane.

The Other Half: Love-you-bye.

Blondage: Love-you-bye.

Click.

Thirty seconds later, my office phone rings AGAIN.

Blondage: Hi this is (name delete)

The Other Half: *heavy breathing*

Blondage: *laughs even harder*

The Other Half: Soooooo.......what were you doing in that picture????

Blondage: You should know. You took it!

The Other Half: *laughs* Love-you-byyyyyyyyyyyye

Blondage: *laughing so hard I'm shouting* LOVE-YOU-BYE!!!!!!

God he makes me laugh.

Mmmmm....Half Nekkid Thursday....*purr*........

Ahem.

For more on HNT, please click on the linkie in my side bar. ;)

Ooopsie....

Note to self

Next time Steve the Certified Sex Addict makes you his "Blogger chick of the month" he'd like to "exchange bodily fluids with" and you supply a positively FILTHY quote for his side bar, don't forget to give Other Half a head's up

Remember this self. Your ass will thank you for it

Mmmmmm.

I love sex.

That's really all I have to say today.

*grin*

Eh.

Superbowl.

I wanna vent about the damn superbowl.

First, some good stuff.

Things meant to appease us chicks who get stuck watching a game they are not interested in -- great sales on beer and sodas at the grocery store, some fun commercials (Emerald Nuts cracked me up), emotional opening when all the MVP's of the past Superbowls came out (I know BBF was spazzing over Jerry Rice, that girl is madly addicted to "Dancing with the Stars"), emotional story pregame about one of the Iran hostages and what a particular superbowl game meant to him.

And now, the IRRITATING stuff.

I thought Aaron Neville and Aretha Franklin absolutely SLAUGHTERED the national anthem. It was like nails on a frikkin chalkboard for me. Did you see the poor players and crowd trying to sing along to that? Oy. Can't you just SING the darn song?!?! It's hard enough to sing it as it is. Knock off the frikkin vocal acrobatics. Grrrrrrrowl.

And HALFTIME. Why why why do they always pick CRAP for halftime? The Rolling Stones? Yawn. Big fat yawn. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of their music....but eeeew. Why does halftime always suck ass? I mean, damn, the most exciting half time in years was the one in Houston a few years ago, and that was just because Janet Jackson flashed everyone (wardrobe malfunction my recently spanked ASS). Who selects these people? Seriously!!!

And dumb commercials.....ok, the monkies were funny the first time, but once was enough. That Jessica Simpson one was just dreadful. I hated the Godzilla/Robot commercial where they had a hummer baby (I realize it puts me on the same level as a 12 year old boy, but the word "hummer" makes me laugh my ass off despite the commercial being lame). A couple others got on my nerves too, but I am a bit too tipsy at the moment to remember 'em.

Anyways.

I'm just so OVER the Superbowl. It's over-blown, over-rated, over-produced. I WANTED to get sucked in to the game. I truly wanted to enjoy it, but blah. Sure, the score is close as I type this (14-10) which would lead one to think the game was decent. But, Blah.

I'd rather watch that kickass UT/USC game again. College football is the shizzat.

Did I really just use the word shizzat? Oh gawd. I must be drunker than I thought.

MEDIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hiccup*

Is it time for Grey's Anatomy yet?

Surely it must be spring...

Damn! Practically everyone I talk these days is either "in love" or going through the process of falling.

How cool is THAT?!?!?!?!

Happy Friday Flowers! Now go make out with somebody!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

Other half was just teasing me about taking some new HNT pics of the "battle scars" from tonight's bedroom activities, but I don't want to make anyone nervous (yes, I mean you LL and Blackops. LOL!).

Mmmmmmm.........hurts to sit. Yummy.

...stripes across my ass and back from various floggers and whips...hand prints on my ass and hips from a killer spanking and being gripped hard...a few scratches here and there...a few bruises that are already popping up....and a very red eye (don't ask!).

Soooo.....here's few more from last week's little photo shoot instead....

*wicked grin*

For the more on HNT, please click the linkie in my side bar! Woo hoo!