Pleasure and Pain and Self-examination

And no, you pervs, this is not a post about masturbation. Maybe tomorrow!

I was having this slightly odd but good conversation with someone about the concept of pleasure versus pain last night. I totally rattled that very nice person (sorry!) with my enthusiam for the subject, and the conversation went all over the place...I'm so blonde......and I never got to finish my explanation. I promised to write about it today, so here we go.

Pleasure versus pain.

I started writing my explanation this morning.....but then something sorta....well.....I hesitate to use the word bad...but it certainly wasn't fun.......happened today that through me for a loop and freaked my ass out for a bit.

And it got me thinking.

Don't be scared my Flowers. It's going to take me a minute, but I swear I have a point.

The balance of pleasure versus pain is not strictly a "BDSM" thing.

All of life is about that delicate, and sometimes fragile balance between pleasure and pain, good things happening and bad things happening. Take this not-so-good thing that happened today. Am I glad it happened? Yes and no, but mostly yes. No, because who wants to be upset! But yes, because *singing* I can see clearly now the rain is gone......(tho that isn't exactly true, it's pouring outside, but you know what I mean)......and certain things make more sense....and I think everything is officially out on the table now, so to speak. It had better be or that person will officially go on the spanking list. Grrrrrr.

When you are in a relationship with anyone - friend, lover, spouse, handsome pool boy.......there's always going to be something you have to ignore, overlook, forgive or forget to keep them in your life. The "Bad". No one is perfect. Well, except for me. *grin*

My other half throws his boxers on the floor every night, drinks out of a milk carton, and doesn't understand that dishes do not magically make their way from the sink-to-the-dishwasher-to-the-cabinet, but I'm not going to kick him out of my life for any of it.

So, having the experience of the not-so-good episode today gave me a lot to think about, and, I hope, is going to help me explain what I was trying to explain to that very nice but slightly nervous person last night.

I've been accused all my life of only seeing "the good" in people. Gets me in trouble all the time. Now here is where my noodle got bent today - maybe that is part of the BDSM fire for me? I don't dwell on the pain, just like I don't dwell on the bad in people. I can't "see" the bad anymore than I can "feel" the bad. I get in to this "zone", where all that exists is me and the person I am with, and that's all I see, all I care about. I'm....incredibly focused.

Sometimes to get the good, the earth-shattering world-rocking reward as it were, you have to take the bad and absorb it. You get your back up, you find the strength to keep plugging away, stay in that situation, you take it, you take the pain, because you know in the end the good, that "reward", will be and IS so worth it. I could be talking about any life situation in this paragraph - toughing it out in a rocky marriage, forgiving a friend or lover for a lie or deception, toughing it out at a job you don't like much....anything in your life could apply.

But that's what BDSM is like for me. I absorb the snap of a crop or a slap of a hand. It's not always easy, sometimes it does hurt, sometimes I do feel that pain, but the need for the ultimate reward, the incredibly good, kickass orgasm that I absolutely know and trust is headed my way, overpowers any momentary doubt that I may experience.