-- according to askmen.com --
(brace yourselves my Flowers)
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag."
Okay, so you know what Braille is... good for you. You may need it after she gouges your eyes out for insinuating that you could fondle her breasts without consequence. Generally speaking, lines that could be used at porn conventions are of no use in mainstream settings.
(Blondage says......wanna spend the night in "the big house" protecting your ass from horny scary men? Try this one.)
"I just want to tell you that you have a price to pay for being this cute, and I'm here to collect... your phone number, that is."
It's fairly witty, but drags on for too long. And she'll expect some celebrity to burst onto the scene and pitch you a collect-call phone program.
(Blondage says.....it is a little long, but I actually kinda like this one. Stop at "collect" tho.)
"Did you know women are like parking spots? All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Which are you?"
Mr. Sensitive, "come on down!" Comparing women to cement on which cars are parked will not get you far, while implying that a woman is handicapped if she's single is going to put you in the ER.
(Blondage says.....only an asshole would try this one.)
"Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash instead?"
As a general rule, implying that she is a hooker will not work. Leave that for the streetwalker get-togethers and offer her a drink instead.
(Blondage says....I'd put my hand out for the cash and knee him in the balls.)
Are you asking her whether or not she's a virgin? Why not ask her whether it's that time of the month while you're it? Leave the references to her box and your tools out of the dialogue, if you want to leave the bar in one piece.
(Blondage says....bad bad BAD idea. Husbands, say this to your wife and she might (heavy emphasis on MIGHT) giggle. Single boys, say this to a chick you're trying to pick up and you're going to get bitch slapped.)
7 comments:
Well they left out my all time favorite. Although I'm not sure which list is falls under.
And it seems Blondage likes none of them, so I'm guessing it would be bad:
"Hey baby, is that a keg under your dress? Cuz I'd sure like to tap that ass!"
Brilliant. Just f'n brilliant!!!
(Now ask me if I've ever actually used it, lol)
TAP THAT ASS?!?!?!? OMG!!!!!! Did that actually WORK?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?
I liked "What's your name" the best.
LOL! Good one Tesco!
As for me, I would be very surprised if it turned out that at least one person for each of those lines didn't end up with crushed testicles. If I'm right, I would like to thank those women for saving the world's gene pool, one asshole at a time.
LOL Mandelbrot! My thoughts exactly.
Back in my wilder days my friends and I heard somewhere that 1 out of 10 women would say yes if asked straight out if they wanted to have sex. We tested that hypothesis thoroughly for several months.
Since I was used to being cussed and slapped anyway :) it didn't bother me. I have to say that it was probably more like 3 in 10. Much easier to just cut to the chase and skip all of the bullshit anyway.
"cut to the chase and skip all of the bullshit"
Couldn't agree more Richard!
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