AKA, word of the day post.....
Time: Last night, approximately 11:30PM
Place: A comfy bed in a dark room
The players: Me and Other Half
Other Half: Love-you-night (he says it really cute, like it's all one word)
Blondage: Love you too (deleted sappy, some might say annoying nickname)
Peace and quiet descends upon the house of blondage.
Blondage:.... falls half asleep.....
And then.
TMWPM:.....giggles in a very naughty way.....
Blondage: ....feels the covers flapping.....realization dawns.......and SHRIEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other Half:......laughs hysterically.....
Blondage:.....gasps for air, runs screaming for the air freshener.....
Other Half: "Damn Babe, that was a good one."
Blondage: "What the hell crawled up your ass and DIED?" *sprays copious amounts of air freshener everywhere* "What the hell did you eat????"......*gasping*......
Other Half:......laughs hysterically....."Nothing out of the ordinary, I swear!"......
Blondage:.......crawls back in bed growling......tries to go to sleep and pretend it is normal for the bedroom to smell like a lemon farm....starts to drift towards sleep.....
Other Half:......starts laughing again.....
Blondage:.......feels covers flapping again.....SHRIEKS......."ABUSE! You're ABUSING me!!!!! I've been assaulted by your ass! You ASS-aulted me!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Other Half:.....laughs harder....."God I love you".
Blondage:......*moans in exasperrated pain*
So my Flowers, the word of the day is ASS-aulted. *growl*
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12 comments:
you could use some kinda pine spray instead of lemon..then you would have the smell of a pine forest fulla SHIT!!!! if all else fails, get your grannys RED bag (the appliance from HELL) from where she use to keep it. TMWPM (you) in this case may need what cures EVERYTHING. It wouldn't hurt!
after re-reading my earlier comment, HE needs the treatment, not you my pet.... ROFLMAO
Triple Zoom, what the heck is it about men and body functions. You ALL think they're hilarious! LOL!
johndeerebilly, I knew what you meant. *grin*
I was laughing reading it, but I don't know if I would have laughed living it ;)
Good word!
-SS
Random thought of the day: There are few things worse than pickled egg farts and prune farts. A fart that combined the two may qualify under international law as a bioweapon. Oh, and the name I use online is Fred. It's an old joke, a very pro-capitalism libertarian who took the name Friederich Engels on one site... Poor blondage...
One of my fondest memories of my beloved, grandma who was very "lady like" is when we came home and she opened the back door to the house.
there is was, the most noxious smell ever and what did she say to my grandpa?
"Goddamn it Charlie! What did you do? Shove rats up your ass?!?".
I lost it. I never heard her swear before OR after that.
Very interesting.....Im still a little scared though. Maybe intimidated by the pain thing.
Tesco, I am not sure I believe you. ;)
SS, I think he burned a hole in my nostrils.
Mandelbrot Fred, "bioweapon"? LOL! I am officially banning all prunes and pickled eggs (gross!) from the house of blondage.
Maeve - that is DAMN FUNNY!!!!!!!
Anonymous - I promise I don't bite unless asked. (kidding) I'll write more and try to explain. BDSM is not about BAD pain.
(adds, at least not for me!)
You know, I get ASS-aulted on a daily basis. However, bbfoh waits til I'm in the shower, helpless, before he begins his ASS-ault. Also, in the van, he locks the windows and turns off the air, then ASS-aults the entire family!!!
Boys are icky BBF. Boys are icky.
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