One of these things is not like the other...

Years ago, I was dating this fellow.

We'll call him........Captain America.

Captain America and I dated for maybe....three or four months before I was ready to go past second base.

So....

Fairly romantic night.....Captain America having been perfectly charming and Captain America-ish. We get back to my place. We start drinking "Blondage Viagra" (wine).

He sits down in my wing-back chair, and pulls me into his lap. We start making out, and it's awesome.

So we make out.

And we make out.

And we make out some more.

And drunk Blondage decides she is in the mood to shock Captain America (have you noticed I get off on periodically shocking people????).

Soooo....

I crawl, or maybe I should say slink, down his body and kneel on the floor.

His lustful eyes widen.

I look up at him, smile innocently, and he growls at me.

I reach for his belt, and he looks ready to hyperventilate.

He tries to reach for me again, but I push his hands away.

I undo his belt, lean forward, and unzip his pants with my teeth.

(Oh Flowers, if you could have seen his shocked face!)

I reach inside his pants, and for the first time touch his manly appendage.

(hehehehehee)

He squirms and moans, and I smile.

I widen his fly for easier access.

Everything comes flying out.....

....and I notice.....something is......lopsided.....strangely shaped....awkward.....odd.

I try not to gawk, and think to myself, self, you're drunk. You're not seeing what you think you're seeing.

Sooo.....

I lean forward and slowwwwly begin teasing Captain America's Captain America with my lips and my tongue.

He's squirming more and moaning louder, and I am trying not to giggle.

I reach up and lightly touch his balls while I am......performing......and I think to myself.....uhm....
weird.

Now Flowers, at this point in my life I was about 23, and had only been "intimate" with two other people....and I hadn't exactly been, shall we say, "explorative" before this point.

Sooo....

I'm between his legs multi-tasking (*grin*), and I can't stop thinking something is really, really odd.

I grasp his Mr Happy in my hands, and lower my mouth to his balls.

I start with tracing my tongue lightly over each one, trying to ignore the slight difference in texture, still thinking to myself, DRUNK!

I move my hands up and down his Roscoe (I love you my dear Acidman, LOL), and gently begin to suck on his balls.

I move from the left one to the right one.

And.

Freeze.

And I look up at him, confused.

He sighs and tells me a story about an illness from years before that he had successfully recovered from....

In the previous post "Writer's block", the comments part, The Ugly American asked me what the weirdest thing was that I've ever had in my mouth was?

Well Flowers.

It was a synthetic ball.