Manners

Last weekend I was talking to The Other Half's brother and his female "date" about Texas. The Other Half's brother, whom I shall refer to as I-don't-know-who-he-thinks-he's-foolin', is considering moving down here. This idea fills me with a sense of dread, as he is one of the bitchiest queens I've ever met.

Don't get me wrong, I loves me some bitchy queens.....but I-don't-know-who-he-thinks-he's-foolin' is bitchy in a mean-spirited way, not in a fun way.

So.

He was telling his "date", whom I shall refer to as The-Fag-Hag (I'm allowed to say that because I am one too) , that the people in Texas are so nice that we all seem fake to him.

Hmmmm.

So I started paying close attention to the manners of The Other Half's relatives.

Eeeeewwwwww! Just plain EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Table manners - practically non-existant (though I-don't-know-who-he-thinks-he's-foolin' was prissily perfect, so there were a few exceptions)

Conversation manners - Those people have two volumes. Shouting, and not talking. That's it. They ask you a question, and then THEY answer it for you. My neck was sore from nodding, because that was the extent of my participation in most conversations at the wedding.

Oh. Did I mention I went up north for a wedding?

*groan*

And that I-don't-know-who-he-thinks-he's-foolin' was asked to walk the bride, who happened to be HIS MOTHER, down the aisle and HE SAID NO?!?!?!

I need a drink just thinking about it.

Social graces - They're rude. Perfect example. The Other Half's Grandmonster looked me up and down and said with a big frown on her face "You look good, but I looked better at your age.". Swear to god she said that. I've seen pictures of that woman at 35, and she was NEVER attractive. The Fag Hag said she thought the Grandmonster was just jealous of me because I was getting a lot of attention. I think it's deeper than that. The Other Half was the first grandchild (and a BOY! a huge deal to these Sicilians) born to the oldest child (The Other Half's Mom). He fell in love with me and moved to Texas eight years ago and Grandmonster has yet to forgive me.

Children - They let 'em run hog wild and either completely ignore them or scream and yell at them. I got fed up and walked over to talk to them. I wound up sitting on the floor and used an old trick I learned when I was studying to be an elementary school teacher (which is not my current profession, for the record). If you speak softly, they lean in close to listen and stop talking and screaming. I sat with four of them, playing games and telling stories, and they turned in to angels for me. They aren't used to adults paying attention to them I guess. I LOVED playing with those kids. They were much more pleasant than those awful adults. They followed me around the rest of the day and were GOOD.

Downside - this cranked up the "when are you getting knocked up" talk. AGAIN. Ugh.

I could continue on with this rant on manners, but re-living all this is giving me a frikkin migraine.

Good grief. I didn't even go in to the family feuds. *grrrrroan* I think I'll skip that topic for now.

I don't have a lot of experience with New Yorkers. I don't know if this particular family is just overrun with naughty-but-in-a-bad-way people or if this really is regional cultural stuff or what. Maybe some of 'youse guys' can clear this up for me a bit.

I wish they were more like my Philly friends. Those people rule.

Yanks may have won "The War of Northern Aggression", but when compared to the meanies I just spent five days with, the South rises to the top in manners and kindness.