Scene from the gym...

Oh man. Haven't laughed this hard since.....well.....since a certain incident involving a moonpie and some wench who got me hooked on "My Space" (see previous post), but I'm not tellin' about that one. *snicker*

I was running late last night, so I arrived at the gym still dressed for work.

Boys: *whistle*

Hairless (remember, he shaves all his body hair with women's shaving cream) John: Whoa!

Blondage: I know. You've never seen me with clothes on before.

Hairless John: *pauses, tries to stifle a grin* Oh baby. Let's go.

He grabs me by the shoulder and pretends to drag me off.

Blondage: *laughs* Gotta go change.

Hairless John: Can I come?

Blondage: *pauses, looks John square in the eyes, arching a brow*

Random male gym rats laugh rather boisterously.

Hairless John: I don't kiss and tell.

Blondage: You most certainly do! I've heard all of your stories!

Hairless John: Oh yeah. Damn.

Blondage: *snickers and scampers off to the locker room*

I change and emerge in my typical gym outfit - yoga pants and a tank top.

Hairless John: *still grinning like a fool*

Blondage: What is THAT look about?

Hairless John: *shakes his head, doesn't say*

Blondage: *thinks to self...interesting*

The Wee General: Stop flirting and get your ass over here Blondage.

Blondage: Yes Ma'am. *salutes her* I see we are in a mood today.

TWG: Yes, I am, and I am taking it out on your body.

Blondage: *mutters some rather colorful four-letter words*

And she proceeds to whip me, beat me, call me Edna......ok, not really......but she did seriously kick my ass.

While on the leg press machine, I start to get sharp cramps in my calves.

Blondage: *Shriek*

TWG: What hurts?

Blondage: *gasps* Calves! CRAMP!

TWG: *grabs my ankle and pushes it towards my head* This should stretch out your ass too.

Blondage: *bursts in to laughter* Stretch out my ASS?!?!?!?

Hairless John: (from three machines over) Can I help with that?

Blondage: *blushes and laughs harder* RASCAL!

TWG: *massages and pinches my calve* Is this one better?

Blondage: *nods and closes eyes*

TWG: *places my leg back on the machine*

Blondage: *eyes still closed*

I feel my other leg being lifted off the machine, pushed towards my head and stretched, and then massaged.

Blondage: *moans happily*

But something feels different. Stronger. Larger...???

Blondage: *opens one eye, SHRIEKS* JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Various gym rats and TWG all laugh. Hard.

Hairless John: *wiggles his eyebrows at me* I know. I'm smooth.

Blondage: *looks at John, looks at TWG* You two are making me crazy.

TWG: We're wearing her down John. *high fives him*


Crikey Flowers.

It's a frikkin conspiracy.